


The Merger Mixed Up

by portlandborn



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-07 16:13:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 40,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17369177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/portlandborn/pseuds/portlandborn
Summary: What if the merger happened as it was originally planned? What if the Scranton Branch was closed and a few employees were brought from Scranton were brought to Samford? What if Pam went to Samford?  This story answers these questions and more.





	1. Chapter 1

JIM

Jim was a bundle of nerves, his mind was racing, would he really have to go back to Scranton after leaving because his heart was broken? He felt like he was floating in nothingness without a chance to be rescued until he decided to leave for Samford. Shit, shit, shit, he kept repeating this in his mind, he wanted to punch Josh, his soon to be ex boss’s double crossing would now force him to make a decision, and worse, it could force him to face Pam on a daily basis after she rejected him.

He and Karen were very new, the last thing this new relationship needed was the stress of being around the girl who got away on daily basis. Jim sat at his desk and stared at the monitor as if it would somehow give him the answer he needed to make this decision. Karen had given him space as she contemplated what to do herself, if Jim went, that would be easy, but if he stayed, did she want to go to a new town and give up on a new relationship with someone she really liked?

Jim was still staring when Josh came back in, “Jim, my office please, Jan will be conferencing with us, by phone.”

Jim nodded, his mind still battling between his options. Jim sat down, Josh looked extremely fatigued, earlier Jim just thought he was being smug, but that seemed to change for some reason. Josh sighed and hit the phone, “Jan, Jim and I here. Do you want to tell Jim the plan?”

“Jim, good news, Josh has reconsidered and will stay with us, but at the corporate level, overseeing Samford and Buffalo, working more closely with them than they have had in the past and to avoid the problems other branches have had, and our CEO David Wallace would like you to run Samford, with Josh’s input and training, if you want the job, which we sincerely hope you do.”

Jim didn’t know what to think, he had once prided himself in not trying and not wanting to move up in the paper business, then his hand felt forced when he realized Pam could never be with him. His heart broken, his pride hurt, he chose to take an assistant manager job, make more money and escape the pain, but now, this was different, this was a big commitment. 

Jim swallowed, his mind trying to process what this would mean for his life, but then he thought of Pam, she had said no, but when she kissed him back, he knew he felt love, he knew he felt passion, but her word and decision was no, so what could he do?

“I accept, thank you.” He tried to smile and hoped he looked genuine.

“Excellent, Josh will start training you Monday, four employees will be coming from Scranton, Dwight Schrute and Ryan Howard from sales, Oscar Martinez from accounting, and Creed Bratton from quality assurance, before you both leave today, you need to figure out how they will fit in with the existing staff, Dwight could work from his home, keeping his many clients in Scranton and absorbing some of the others and dealing with the personal needs of clients there, eliminating the need for others to travel as much, but that is ultimately up to the two of you.”

Jim, Jan, and Josh hammered out a few more details, Jan said goodbye and hung up and Josh exhaled loudly, “what a day, I hope you don’t think I’m a huge dick because of what I did, I can handle being treated like a normal dick, just not a huge one.”

Jim nodded, “yeah, of course, I mean, no, you’re fine.”

“David Wallace called Staples and told them they’d be a fool to trust me not to move up the same way in another company using them to do so, but at least they’re paying me more and it’s basically a promotion.”

“No, I get it, this isn’t my dream job, but I can’t say no…”

Josh slapped Jim on the back, “what, you didn’t dream of selling paper products for a failing company in a struggling economy, that was my dream.”

Jim didn’t know how to respond, “yeah.”

“Listen, you’ll do fine, don’t make Andy your number two, I would make it Karen, but be upfront with HR if you guys are serious about dating, Andy has a big mouth.”

Jim felt himself blushing, “yeah, that’s fine with me, and yeah, he does. Any chance we could swap him for Stanley from Scranton?”

“Sadly, no, just pair him with the Ryan, new guy from Scranton that doesn’t hasn’t made a single sale in six full time months and for however long he was a temp, but he was much cheaper option than Phyllis, and she didn’t want to move. I’ll tell them whoever is further behind in sales at the end of the quarter is fired. Andy has one sale this year, one, so at least I might take him down a peg from his cockiness.”

“Okay, yeah…man, me as manager? I didn’t plan on that.”

“I pushed it Jim, Michael is a time waster, he’s talented, in sales, but he distracts everyone, I mean, we all waste time, we sell paper, but he takes it to new levels, you don’t like meaningless meetings or wasting other people’s time.”

Jim could only nod as he thought of the meetings Michael would call, on a regular basis. It was in those meetings that he found himself falling in love with Pam, as she fell asleep him, whispered with him, and excited him with her presence, he had never felt that with anyone else, not Katie, and so far not with Karen, even though he did like her and wanted things to work out with her.

A little while later, Josh called everyone into the conference room, “Okay, so a lot of rumors and few true things have been flying around today, but the final decision is that our Samford branch is sticking around.” The other employees all cheered and high fived, Andy tried to get a chant going before Josh stopped him. “I will oversee our branch and the Buffalo branch, as a corporate employee and Jim Halpert will take over as branch manager.” Everyone but Andy clapped and congratulated him, Karen was smiling big at him. “ Karen will be the new number two, congratulations Karen, and we will also get four new employees from Samford, but one will only come in once a week to process paperwork as he will visit clients in Scranton and continue living there, but there will be another new employee in sales, another in quality assurance for the increased clientele, and another accountant, but don’t worry Sandy, it’s not the big bald guy that can’t count.”

Josh thanked everyone for their hard work and explained how a few other things would work and that he would be around for the next three weeks training Jim. After Josh ended the meeting, almost everyone came up congratulated Jim, only Andy and Karen were missing, Jim saw Andy throwing a chair and Karen was talking with Josh. As Jim walked back to his desk, Karen approached him.

“So, how’s this going to work, you as my boss and my boyfriend? Are you okay with that?”

Jim gave her a sly grin, “are you okay with that?”

Karen smirked, “yeah, I am, it will be weird being the number two here, but I’m happy for you, I think you’ll be better than that Michael guy for sure, and you won’t sucker punch us like Josh tried to do.”

“For sure,” Jim nodded, “do you want to get out of here, maybe go get some beers?”

“That sounds good, Andy is a moody beast right now, I don’t know how he thought he’d get the job, he has less sales than Fred for the year, and Fred got fired in February for sleeping at his desk all the time.”

“Cool, I have to sign a few things with Ashley in HR, and then let’s go, we can take my car, if that’s okay.”

Karen smiled as Jim walked away, she worried after their first two dates whether he could get past whatever thing in his past made him wary, but he hadn’t shied away from holding her hand during lunch at break the day before, and he had referred to her as her girlfriend before she did the same to him as her boyfriend. She liked him a lot, they’d only slept together twice, but the sex was good, he knew what he was doing, but he was also tender and sweet. She knew she was falling harder for him than vice versa, but that didn’t matter to her, she was just glad he was into her at all for the time being.

As Jim finished his second beer, he smiled at Karen, “What Halpert, do I have something on my face?”

Jim shook his head, “no, I’m just glad things worked out, I’m really happy.”

Karen leaned into him, “me too, let’s go.” She stood up and took him by the hand.

Jim felt confused, “where are we going?”

Karen looked back with a wicked grin, “your place, so I can make you even happier.”

PAM

The day had been insane, at first, she thought she would lose her job, then she thought Jim might come back to Scranton, and then she was back to having no job. Had it not been for the possibility of having Jim back in her life, she would have been thrilled otherwise to have some financial compensation and time off for art school, but now, she was tormented by how things were left with Jim.

Every day she tried to get up the courage to call him and apologize and let him know it was a mistake and that she felt the same way, but she was unsure about everything at the same time. Breaking up with Roy and calling off the wedding was the right move, she had no question about that, but she also realized how much of her life she had simply just let happen to her without thinking about what she wanted or speaking up and advocating for herself, causing her to fear rushing into anything, even with the man she knew she was in love with. 

after the final announcement was made, currently Kelly was wailing in the breakroom, Michael was crying in his office and throwing up, Meredith and Creed were making out on the copy machine, Phyllis had left cry to Bob Vance, Stanley couldn’t stop celebrating because his payoff was big, and Toby and Ryan were getting drunk with the warehouse guys. Angela and Dwight were nowhere to be seen, she didn’t want to imagine what they might be doing, but then she noticed Dwight sneak back in, he noticed her and walked over to her.

“Pam, your old playmate is going to be my boss, it’s outrageous and maddening, that buffoon can’t tell me what to do. What qualifications does he have that I don’t?”

Pam shrugged, “I don’t know Dwight, other than he did minor in business, has a four-year degree, and leads all salesmen in the company right now since the move to Stamford, but you’re right, what does he know.”

Dwight looked crestfallen, “Oh, I guess that makes sense, Michael was a wonderful boss,” Pam tried to smile, “but his lack of knowledge, in many areas, did cause some issues, and I can’t imagine Jim calling as many meetings.”

Pam nodded, “yeah, but I heard you get to work from here and only go in once a week to Stamford, so you don’t have to worry too much.”

Dwight fidgeted with some papers, “I just don’t know how to go about getting close to him, I always try to do that with bosses, not sucking up, but covering my bases like a spy or true warrior would do.”

Pam tried to not laugh, “yeah, I get it.”

Dwight turned to leave and the turned back to talk to her, “do you know anything about his new girlfriend, you and he were close, which I still don’t understand, but it could prove useful.”

Pam stared at him incredulously for a second, trying to not look surprised that Jim had moved on, “thanks, I didn’t know he was seeing someone, does she work there too?”

“Great, you’re useless now, sorry, that’s not fair, she does work there. It’s been a long day, Jan yelled at Michael and I for staking out David Wallace’s house and we had to drive back fast, I learned that my girlfriend, um…Noel, lost her job…at her pencil factory job.”

Pam did her best to not visibly roll her eyes at his lame attempt to allude to Angela, whose middle name was Noel. “That’s too bad Dwight, I’m sure she’ll be fine, she is an accountant, companies always need accountants.”

Dwight nodded absentmindedly for a second and then turned red as he realized what had happened. Pam sighed slowly as he walked away. Jim was free to date whoever he wanted, she had rejected him, she knew she had hurt him, but it didn’t make it any easier. He had just disappeared, he hadn’t said anything to her, no goodbye, no note, no call, nothing. 

With the time Pam had worked there, her severance package would be good enough to sustain her for a few months without a job and taking art classes, but suddenly she felt unsure of her choices. She had been with Roy for so long she hadn’t realized how close she felt to Jim wasn’t just friendship but romantic love, only she realized it too late.

As Pam arrived at her apartment that night, her phone rang, she hoped it wasn’t Roy, he would call and check up on her, she wanted space, but he insisted he could win her back. She answered it, hoping it was Isabel or Penny.

“Hello?”

“Pam, this is Jan Levinson, the receptionist here was worried about the workload with the merging branches and quit today, we would like someone who has experience with how everything in the company operates, especially with the merger happening. We would like to offer you the following, you would receive your severance pay, we would give you five thousand dollars for the move and raise your pay a thousand dollars a month, in return, we only ask that you stay for at least a year, and train another receptionist or secretary to handle the increase in the number of clients and employees.”

Pam felt frozen, “okay…um…”

“Just think about it tonight Pam, I’ll call tomorrow for your answer, I know that Michael may have driven you crazy, but we could really use you in Samford.”

“Does Jim know about this?” She felt stupid as the words left her mouth.

“Um, no, this was mine and David Wallace’s call, Jim had left for the day, to celebrate his big promotion, do you have a problem with him?”

Pam felt even more foolish and panicked, “no, no, not at all, it’s just that he left here to get away from things…”

“Jim will be fine with it, he will be glad to have someone who knows what they’re doing, Alice, the current receptionist was not great at paperwork anyways an caused some issues.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it, I wasn’t planning on moving, I just moved into this apartment.”

“We can cover costs if they charge you, we really want you on board, this is a big offer, for the same job, but you’d be treated with respect, not having to cover for Michael not doing his job.”

After finally getting off the phone with Jan, Pam grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass and went in her bedroom, she laid the bottle and glass on the bed and undressed, putting on her robe from the chair next to her bed, she walked into her bathroom and drew herself a bath. She sighed sadly as she sprinkled in some bath salts, she had started to take care of herself in a way that made her feel sexy, only now, she had no one to impress. She poured herself a glass of wine and set it carefully next to the tub.

As she took off her robe and gently submerged herself in the tub, the hot water was a little bit of a shock at first, she leaned back against her inflatable bath pillow, at first, she just focused on how good the hot water felt, but soon all her thoughts were of Jim. Initially, she felt sad as she rehashed the past events, her rejecting him and him leaving town, but then she remembered the kiss, the tenderness and passion, something she had never felt from Roy, not even in their best times. As she remembered how amazing the kiss felt, how she was so close to surrendering completely to her urges, rather than curse at herself like the past. she began softly working her fingers over her wet breasts, she could vividly remember the smell of his cologne, the way his hands felt as he held her, the tone in his voice, so sincere, so hopeful.

One hand trailed downward, two fingers began gently rubbing her folds, she hadn’t done this in so long, when she was with Roy, she would do it to relieve stress, but since the breakup, she had been content to be free and have her future wide open, but tonight was different. As her fingers picked up speed, she released a small and brief moan, “fuck, Jim.” Even though she was the only person there, she felt herself blush at having said his name like that. 

After she dried herself off, she tried to take her mind off her decision by watching tv, but as she flipped the channels, she came upon Dazed and Confused, which they both had named as one of their favorite movies the day Ryan had caused the small fire. She watched for a little while until she couldn’t take it anymore, she was decided, even if he was with someone, fuck it, she had been with someone and he had made a move, she had to try, to at least feel out the situation, she could last a year, right? She owed it to herself to try, she had only felt that way about Jim, ever, she let herself hide behind her fear and he left, only to move on, she couldn’t hide anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pam and Jim continue to question their decisions.

PAM

She woke up sweating, the memory of her nightmare still fresh in her mind, her hear racing. Pam got out of bed slowly and made her way to the bathroom to splash water on her face, she stared in the mirror illuminated only by the small LED light that automatically turned on the dark, in her nightmare, she had gone to Samford only for Jim to yell at her and tell her he could never forgive her. The more she thought of the nightmare, the more real is felt, her heart continued to pound and with every beat her emotions grew stronger until she felt tears in eyes, trickling down her cheeks.

When the alarm went off at nine, she slowly got out of bed, at first she felt relaxed, it was Saturday, she didn’t have a lot to do, just laundry, but as she started her coffee, the memory of her conversation with Jan and her nightmare about Jim returned to her mind. She couldn’t think of moving to Samford without getting extremely nervous, she wanted to take a chance, she wanted to be brave and let Jim know how she felt, but the what ifs plagued her mind, driving her doubts deeper and deeper. 

A little after ten, the phone rang, Pam answered with extreme trepidation, “hello?”

“Pam, this Jan Levinson, how are you this morning?”

Pam tried to calm her nerves, she had felt so sure the night before, but right now, she felt like her heart was pounding so hard it would soon leap out of her chest, “I thought I was okay…sorry Jan, I just don’t think I can.”

There was a brief pause, “okay, Pam, I understand, but I may call again in a few months to ask again. Jim had talked to one of the customer relations staff about filling in, they know the paperwork and the staff, but one of them is retiring soon, so the offer would be the five thousand to move and a thousand dollar a month raise, please think about it, I will be calling again.”

“Okay…thanks Jan.”

She didn’t know why, but she felt like the that conversation had sucked all the energy and hope out of her day. She slumped down on her couch, wrapped herself up in her thickest blanket and watched a marathon of Seinfeld that was being shown on one of the channels. A few hours later, she woke up on the couch, she wasn’t sure how long she had been sleeping, she only knew her head hurt. Slowly, she got up from the couch and walked to her small kitchen and took some ibuprofen. On her fridge, her attention was drawn to the picture of Jim, his high school picture he had given her. She normally smiled every time she saw that picture, dorky Jim, so skinny and happy. As she began to second guess her decision to not move to Samford, she slammed her hands on the kitchen counter in frustration, “no, I can’t do this!” 

Soon she found herself on her bed browsing through the course catalog of Marywood University, which was decent school and close to where she lived. She had been accepted there, she applied for there as soon as she and Roy broke up, but she had second guessed herself again and instead just taken classes at the community college. She saw many classes she wanted to take, she started writing them down, she could take a few summer courses, they were five-week courses that met for a few hours twice a week, a smile formed on her face as she thought of how fun these classes would be. Maybe this wasn’t the best choice, but it beat just feeling sorry for herself.

Later that night, Pam was eating pizza on the couch when there was knock on her door, Pam wasn’t expecting anyone, she got up and stood on her tip-toes to peer through the peep hole, there in front of her door stood one of the last people she wanted to see right now, Michael Scott.

“Damn,” she whispered to herself, she unhooked the chain and opened the door a crack, “Michael, why are you at my apartment?”

“Pamelando Calrision, I heard you turned down a job in Samford, are you crazy?”

“Michael,” she wanted to scream at him, but even now she felt fearful of expressing how she really felt, “I just couldn’t, I’m going to take some college classes at Marywood and see how it goes.”

“Okay, I just think it’s a mistake, Jim loves you, you could get him to give you whatever you wanted, even if you did stomp on his heart.”

“Michael!” She had temporarily found her voice, and it was loud, “you should not be here! You’re not my boss anymore, I’m doing what’s best for me instead of everyone else, if you don’t leave I’ll call the police.” She quickly pushed the door closed and redid the chain. Her tears had returned, she never meant to stomp on Jim’s heart, she just didn’t know what she wanted or even that she wanted it, but now it was so painfully clear.

As she returned to the couch, she didn’t pick up her pizza, instead she grabbed her laptop and started registering for classes, she had to do this, maybe this wasn’t the bravest move, that would be telling Jim how she felt, but this was a start, this was scary and tackling this might lead to other brave actions, it had to, she couldn’t cower in fear anymore, she was tired of being an observer in her own life.

The printer on her table was humming as it printed out the schedule of her classes, Pam picked up the sheet of paper, still warm from the printer, she stared at the classes she had chosen, a sad memory then came to her mind of when Jim tried to get her to enroll in the corporate sponsored design classes that Roy told her she couldn’t take. A surge of anger overtook her, but her anger wasn’t towards Roy, he behaved like he did because she had allowed it, yes, he was backwards, yes, he was inconsiderate, but she hadn’t spoken up for herself until the very end. She wanted to send Jim a picture of her new schedule, she took the picture with her phone, but then hesitated and closed her phone instead of sending the picture. She had to do this for her own benefit, not for Jim’s.

When she returned to her couch, she opened her laptop and went to facebook, she and Jim were friends on it, but neither had posted anything since she had rejected him. She went to his profile and saw that someone had tagged him in a picture, she felt her happiness drain from her as she saw the picture of a happy Jim with his new beautiful girlfriend. The two of them looked very happy and his new girlfriend, Karen, had captioned the picture with a congratulations to Jim on his new promotion.

Pam threw her head back, staring at the ceiling, wondering if she was even good enough for new Jim, no longer the slacker salesmen with the hilarious pranks who was in love with an unavailable receptionist, he was now manager Jim with the gorgeous sales woman from his office. New classes couldn’t fix this problem, but she hoped they could at least give her direction and a chance to escape this life she had made for herself that suddenly felt so small and tedious.

JIM

He was awakened when he felt the person next to him in bed rest her head on his chest, he blinked several times as he gained his bearings, he was in his bed, in his room, and there next to him was a very naked Karen. Jim closed his eyes and tried to will himself to want this relationship more. Karen was incredible, she was kind, funny, smart, and beautiful, but she had the same problem all women he dated would have, she wasn’t Pam. 

He had spent many hours contemplating one question that plagued him, why Pam? He knew why he liked her, that was easy, she the funniest person he had ever meant, she was smart in ways she didn’t even acknowledge, she was also so gorgeous, but why couldn’t he get past her? She had rejected him, she caused him the biggest heartache he had ever known, why couldn’t he accept that she didn’t feel the same and simply move on?

Jim was deep in thought when he felt Karen’s soft lips kiss him gently on his jaw line, “hey there Halpert, hell of a celebration, eh?”

Jim nodded, trying to smile and make her feel like he was happy, which he was, he truly was happy an he like Karen a lot, but Pam occupied so much of his mind and heart that everything this poor woman next to him did would automatically be compared to the one that got away. “Yeah, no complaints here, but I do feel kinda used, you know, my underling sleeping with the boss,” Jim made sure to grin extra big as he said this to convey that he was indeed joking.

Karen elbowed him, hard, “you better not joke about that around the office, someone already joked about it.”

Jim rolled his eyes, “ah shit, let me guess, Andy No Nards?”

Karen nodded, and half giggled, “you guessed it, but he’s always an ass.”

Karen’s phone made a strange cat sound, she reached for it, “a text, an early text. Looks like corporate was trying to bring the receptionist from Scranton here.”

Jim felt his mouth go dry, “r-really? Tried?”

Karen repositioned herself so she was nuzzled into his chest again, “yeah, tried, apparently she didn’t want it. Is she cool?”

Cool, he thought, not cool, she’s dorky, fucking adorably dorky, and beautiful. “Yeah, she’s okay, better than anyone else there…” he was out of words to say, his mind went to the one place he was trying to avoid. Now he found himself thinking of Pam while a hot, young woman was in bed next to him, naked. The questions then started to arise, did she turn it down because of him?

“Jim? Are you okay?” Karen propped herself a little to look at him directly.

“Uh, yea, mind just wandered, thinking about all the crap I have to do now.”

“You’ll do great.” She leaned forward and kissed him, tenderly, passionately. 

Jim’s thoughts immediately turned to guilt, What am I doing? Why can’t I enjoy Karen? Why can’t I just be happy?

Jim did his best to return the feelings shown by Karen as they continued to kiss, Karen made a small sound of arousal or approval, Jim felt himself getting erect, then Karen’s hand stroked the length of it, he felt himself shiver, wondering if it was from arousal or guilt.

Jim didn’t much time to consider the problem when there was loud knocking at his door. “Shit, I better go see who it is, they’re so loud, I don’t want whoever it is pissing off my neighbors, I’m the new guy.”

Jim clumsily hopped out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans, zipping carefully to not cut himself while still half erect. He tried to think of Dwight of Kevin in the bathroom to solve his problem, he peeked out the side window, “shit, Dwight?” He unlocked the door and opened it, “Dwight, what the hell. How did you find me?”

“Hello to you as well.” Dwight entered without an invitation. “James, we need to talk. You will now be my boss, and we have tortured each other, I’ve tried to get you fired, you mess with me a lot, but now, I need to know something.”

Jim slipped on his sweatshirt so he would no longer be shirtless in front of the strangest person he knew. “What do you need to know Dwight?”

Dwight sat down on Jim’s couch, “this is comfortable couch Jim, good cushion yet adequate back support.”

“Dwight, did you drive two and half hours on a Saturday morning to test out my couch?” Jim plopped down in his easy chair.

“No, don’t be absurd Halpert, what I need to know is can we trust each other? It would be easy for you to sabotage me with me out of the office so much.”

“Dwight, I pranked you because you were always annoying, making comments about your superiority, but I never jeopardized your job or tried to get you fired, something you can’t say to me.”

“That is true. Listen, I spent the past five years kissing up to Michael, admiring him, but the truth is he put me down a lot and never listened to me or acknowledged I was a good salesman.”

“Dwight,” Jim sat up and leaned forward, “you’re the best salesman in the company, I did well at Samford because I actually worked hard, not goofing off or trapped in meetings, but you still manage to have good numbers despite being sequestered for two hours every day in one of Michael’s many meetings.”

“Hmmm. Alright. I accept what you say.” Dwight stood up and shook Jim’s hand, the shower in Jim’s bathroom could be heard, and then Karen singing some song Jim didn’t recognize. Dwight punched Jim hard on the shoulder, “you dog, you have a female visitor, your attractive co-worker no doubt.”

Jim felt himself going red, “Dwight, how the hell does everyone know about Karen and I?”

“Easy, a one Andrew Bernard emailed Michael and I looking for dirt on you, I may have given some, but it didn’t hurt you in any way, but he told us about you and a Karen Filipelli, a native of upstate New York.”

“Okay, listen, we can get along, I have no doubts, but I need you to not spread dirt or go detective on me or the others at the office, deal?”

“Done. Besides, there’s way more dirt on the Ivy League buffoon than you. His sales record is abysmal and he’s some trust fund kid. Despicable if you ask me. Oh, and one last question, will it cause problems that Pam and I are friends since she rejected you and broke your heart?”

“Dwight,” Jim whisper yelled while gesturing wildly, “quiet, I don’t want Karen asking questions or feeling like she has competition, which she doesn’t, I liked Pam, she didn’t like me.”

“Hmmm, she did call off her wedding, doesn’t that mean something?”

Jim shrugged his shoulders, he could feel his emotions rising to the front, “in the end, apparently not. I don’t know why she did, I told her I was in love with her and she told me she didn’t feel the same. When she broke it off with Roy, she still didn’t say anything to me, so I have to assume she didn’t change how she felt, but please, no more talk about this, I want some privacy from my coworkers here.”

“Understood, I am currently also having lady problems, my girlfriend lost her job, it’s made things tense.”

Jim wondered who he was dating, if anyone, “well that sucks man, I hope things work out, as for me, I like Karen, things are good, but I don’t want her worrying about me and someone else…”

“Say no more, I will keep it confidential and make sure no one else mentions it, especially that rich failure of a salesman.”

“Thanks Dwight.”

After Dwight left, Jim walked back into his bedroom, Karen was sitting on his bed with a towel wrapped around her looking at her phone. “Sorry Karen, the crazy guy I told you about, Dwight, he came two and a half hours to make sure we could work together.”

“Wow, that’s dedication.”

“No, that’s insanity and a complete lack of boundaries, get used to it, because that’s Dwight, but he’s actually a good salesman and not a terrible person, just terribly annoying, but fun to mess with.” Jim sat on the bed next to her as she leaned into him, he naturally wrapped his arm around her, he was amazed her natural beauty, she wore make up at work, but here, right after a shower, she had never appeared more beautiful to him.

“You’d better not mess with him now, I don’t want to date an unemployed bum…Halpert, quit staring at me.”

“Sorry, I just sometimes forget how pretty you are.”

Karen rolled her eyes, “Halpert, don’t make me be they guy in this relationship.” Jim grinned at her, she pulled his face to hers with her hands and kissed him deeply, then pulled back and used one hand to loosen her towel. “I seem to remember we were interrupted.”

Jim swallowed, very aware of his growing erection, “yeah, good call.” Jim was in the process of removing his sweatshirt when he felt Karen undo his jeans, trying to pull them off him, “careful Filipelli, you’ll damage the goods.”

“Serious, your goods?”

“It’s a colloquialism, not that strange a name.”

As he saw daylight again, Jim lifted his hips and Karen pulled his jeans the rest of the way down, Jim took her by surprise and lifter her up quickly, positioning himself above her, he kissed the area of her neck, then trailed his kisses down to her breasts, using his tongue as his fingers found the right spot as she emitted almost a squeak, Jim smiled as he kissed her breasts, his thoughts were only of her, she wasn’t the girl he had pined for and been obsessed with for four years, but she was exactly who he wanted right now.

Karen soon grew stiff as she reached her breaking point, she pushed his hand away as she became overwhelmed by the sensation, Jim loved the way she sounded when she reached her climax, she wasn’t vocal, but her sounds were quiet and sincere. As Karen felt recovered, she tugged at him to move up, her hand grabbing his erection and guiding it to her entrance.

As Jim pushed inside her, Karen made another small noise, Jim began thrusting, first gently, but with each thrust, Karen’s noises would get louder spurring him on to go harder and harder, in the past, Jim had always been the gentleman, but as she responded positively as he couldn’t help himself as he began slamming in and out of her, soon her sounds pushed him to his limit and he spilled into her as Karen reached hers.

“Filipelli, that was crazy hot,” Jim couldn’t believe how long it was taking him to catch his breath, this was definitely the most athletic sex he had ever had. For the moment, Jim had forgotten about Pam, he was happy, Karen was great, she was amazing. Later in the day, Karen wanted to go to the park, Jim opened a box of things looking for his baseball gloves and ball, as he searched, he found the medal Pam made for office Olympics, he smiled as he held it, and then the smile vanished as he realized that even though she was out of his life, she was not out of his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Scranton people come to Connecticut and Pam starts her art classes.

JIM

Today was the day, the Scranton branch transfers were coming, Dwight would be here for the first week of orientation and acclamation, but strangely, Jim felt less nervous about him then he did about Ryan, Creed, and Oscar. He had already discussed things with Dwight, but with the other three, it might seem weird for him to be their boss and not the slacker who was messing with Dwight or hanging out with Pam. Pam, he worried a lot that someone might talk about her or tell the Samford people how he left because of her or right after he confessed his feelings to her, he was unsure how much they knew, but they had to suspect something.

He pulled into work thirty minutes early, Dwight was already waiting at the office door, “Halpert, good to see you take this serious.”

“Thanks Dwight, good to see you still like to show everybody up.”

“It’s necessary Jim, these are new co-workers, they need to see I’m serious about my job and I only have a mere five days to do so before I’m out of the office most of the time.”

Jim nodded, for once, Dwight was actually making some sense. “I can’t blame you, that’s why I’m here early, plus, I have to get all of your materials together.”

“Are you having some sort of feelings heavy meet and greet with a video?”

Jim shook his head, “no, that’s Michael’s style, I’m going to introduce everyone and assign each new employee someone to walk them through the day, so they understand how things work here, I mean it’s not really different, but that way you can all can ask questions and not feel too isolated.”

“Hmmm, I can understand that, Michael usually created a spectacle and scared people.”

“I thought you loved him?” Jim wanted to say a lot about Michael and how he actually treated Dwight, but he was trying to be a good manager.

“Honestly, he was normally a huge ass. He made fun of the things I gave him and always tried to cozy up to Ryan, I mean what’s cool about never making a sale and being a temp for over a year?”

“I get that, I liked it when Michael would waste time sometimes, but he also made the office tense sometimes, like the whole sexual harassment seminar and the thing with Phyllis.”

Dwight was about to respond when the door opened, and Andy walked in, “He there, Big Tuna Boss and new employee, I am your Andrew Bernard, number two man here.”

Jim jumped in before Dwight could, “Andy, no, you’re not, Karen is, you have made one sale in the past year, fix that before trying to be the boss, and do not call me Big Tuna or I swear, I will change the corporate records and your name will be Andrew No-Nards.”

Andy turned red, “that’s not cool Tuna, I’m trying to show this new guy that he has to show proper respect to me…”

“Andy, this is Dwight Schrute, the number one salesman in the company, in the company. Follow his lead and maybe you’ll make some more sales.”

Andy huffed off, Jim could hear him throwing the trash can around again, Dwight smiled, “wow, thanks Jim, Michael never stood up for me.”

Jim sighed, “look, you could drive me crazy, for sure, but you were a good salesman, there’s no question, and that guy, he thinks because he went to an Ivy League school that he’s better than everybody else.”

Dwight craned his neck to try and see Andy again, “he also seems somewhat unstable. Is that who I have to work with today?”

Jim laughed and shook his head, “no way, you two would be at each other’s throats, you’re working with Karen, she’s the actual number two here, and has a good sales record and knows what goes on here.”

“That’s excellent, after you left Michael didn’t train Ryan, he said Ryan was smart enough to train himself…”

“Dwight, don’t worry about Ryan, I know what he’s like, he and Andy will work together and honestly, they are both on probation for low sales. I don’t care about people kissing my butt, I’d rather have honesty and wackiness, like you.”

Dwight was speechless for a moment, “thanks Jim, I know I tried to sabotage you, but you still had a good sales record and while you pranked me, a lot, you are intelligent and didn’t kiss Michael’s butt, which I did.”

“No worries, hey, here’s Karen.”

Jim made introductions, Karen walked around with Dwight, with in ten minutes, everyone had come in, Jim called a meeting. Josh was there to train Jim, he sat next to him, Andy sat at the foot of the big table, looking angry.

“Thanks for being here, let’s welcome our new employees, Dwight Schrute, stand up Dwight,” Dwight stood up bowed lowly, “Dwight is our number one salesman, his record is incredible, learn from him.” Dwight smiled and sat down, “Ryan Howard,” Ryan stood up, “Ryan is getting his MBA and will work closely with Andy. Andy glared at Ryan, “Creed Bratton is quality assurance, he will work with Martin and will actually visit our printers, right Creed?”

Creed looked confused, “you knew about that Halpert?”

“Yes, and I’m not judging, just go out at least once a week, that’s all. And finally, Oscar Martinez, our head accountant, he’s very intelligent and does good work. Each of the new employees has been paired with someone, but feel free to welcome them, and that’s all, let’s get to it.”

Andy stood up, “um, I don’t think so, I don’t have to follow you Tuna.”

Josh was about to stand up, but Jim didn’t want to have everyone think Josh had to fight his battles, “Andy, if you can’t follow me, then I will write you up right now and add in that you lost two clients because you kept asking out the receptionists.”

Andy sat down and pouted, Josh stood up, “everyone, especially Andy, Jim is the manager, I’m simply here to train, he’s your boss, be glad it’s not Michael. I looked at their records, Michael spent the money on himself he was supposed to use as a sales incentives, and he gave himself salesman of the year award or didn’t award it at all, Jim is fair, he knows there are times when we work slower than others, and he also knows everyone here, let’s just work and show corporate they were right to not shut us down.”

An hour later, Jim was getting some coffee, he was focused on the coffee and thinking about what Pam would do now that she wasn’t at Dunder Mifflin when he heard his name, he almost spilled the coffee he was pouring, and saw it was Dwight.

“Sorry Dwight, I was zoning out.”

“Hey, way to handle that ivy league freak, Michael should have done that when people argued.”

“Thanks, I don’t mind a difference of opinion, but that, c’mon, what am I supposed to do?”

Dwight jumped up and sat on the counter, “well, you could have left crying and then held a party for everyone to apologize and then get mad when you don’t get what you want.”

Jim started to laugh a little, “that’s what happened like four years ago when that warehouse guy, Bill or something got mad at Michael. That was like my second or third month here.”

“I wasted a lot of time kissing up and being mad at you.”

Jim patted him on the shoulder, “yeah, well I wasted a lot time pranking you, so don’t feel too bad.”

Dwight carefully looked around to make sure they were alone, “do you miss Pam?” He said it quietly, but it still surprised Jim.

He could feel himself turning red, “Yeah, I mean, we were friends, and then…Shit Dwight, it had to have been obvious I liked her, a lot. It was tough, I mean really obvious, but she did what she felt was the right thing, so I have to respect that. I’m happy though, I like Karen, she’s great.”

Dwight nodded, “she is pretty, and she seems really intelligent, she’s told me a lot of good stuff about what goes on around here, while Andy has simply challenged Ryan to trivia questions. Was I that bad?”

Jim laughed, a lot, “look, we could both get crazy, but you only got bad if people directly challenged you, but you worked your ass off and Michael sort of screwed around with you, but no, I don’t think you were as bad as Andy, at least you made sales to back up your confidence.”

“I like this office, honestly, it seems a little more professional yet not as judgmental, I’ll have to get used to working by myself four days a week.”

“That would be hard, but at least you can stay at your place, you don’t want to leave Schrute Farms.”

“No, that is true. I have to keep an eye on Mose, the last time I was gone for a week he dressed up the animals and took pictures and our beet crop got decimated by birds and moles.”

The rest of the day went smoothly for Jim, the training was easy, and he felt good about the shift in his relationship with Dwight, he didn’t want things to be like they were. He and Karen were talking about going away for the weekend, things were moving quickly, but with his new job title and Pam not wanting to transfer to Stamford, it just felt right. He was in the middle of filling out paperwork and expense reports when he was buzzed, “Jim, it’s Jan.”

“Thanks, put her through. Hi Jan.”

“Hi Jim, how are things today?”

“Honestly, pretty good, the transition has been easy, every Scranton employee is paired up with a Samford employee to ease them in, we had a brief I mean very brief meeting, and then straight to work.”

“Wonderful. Listen, we have a slight issue, Linda was going to help with reception, but now it appears that within a week’s time, everyone will be gone from reception. Linda’s husband got transferred for his job. I really want Pam there, but she has made up her mind to take classes. I will go through a temp agency, I want them to work at least a month at a time, then they can train the next replacement. It’s not ideal, but I will try for Pam when her summer semester is up in six weeks.”

Jim finished talking with Jan and got back to work, he hoped Pam wouldn’t come, yet part of him wondered if she did come if there would a spark or chance for things, but then he forced himself to stop dreaming. Dreaming about it had gotten him nowhere and then when he did finally tell her how he felt, his heart got stomped on, there was nothing to think about, she had made that clear, he couldn’t hold on to maybes and what ifs.

He must have seemed distracted because Karen came up behind him, “Halpert, what’s up? You’ve been staring at a blank screen for like ten minutes.”

Jim started to sweat, “um, nothing, I was talking to Jan and she said Linda’s leaving and she really wants Pam here…”

Karen bit her lip through a grin, “you mean the lady you liked a lot and don’t want transferring here because it would be awkward?”

Jim’s tongue felt heavy all of a sudden, “h-how do you know that?”

Karen placed a hand gently on his shoulder, “it’s okay, you’re allowed to have a past, and I’ve been rejected before, it happens, and Ryan told me, thinking it would help me like him, I told him I like a salesman who actually sells.”

Jim smiled slightly, “good job, but the other thing, it’s just weird, worlds colliding and all that.”

Karen took him by the hand and guided him to a windowless room everyone called the pit, no one worked in it, it was only used occasionally, Karen locked it. Jim didn’t have a clue what was happening, and his guilt kicked in.

“Karen, I’m sorry, I should have told you about her, but she rejected me, it’s fucked with me, a lot, I’m sorry.”

Karen kissed him, hard, biting his lip, she then pulled away and smiled, “Halpert, shut up, it’s okay. I like that you take chances, I haven’t confessed any of my past relationships, if she worked here and you were friends with her, that would be different, maybe awkward, but she’s in Scranton and you’re worried about her coming her, I find that oddly cute.”

Jim shook his head, “really?”

“Really.” Karen pulled his head down and kissed him again, Jim closed his eyes and felt her hands leave his head, when he opened them, she was unbuttoning her pants.

“Karen?”

“Look, I’m normally not like this, I’ve worked with some people I’ve dated, but they never turned me on at work. Between you putting Andy in his place, befriending your work enemy and feeling nervous about your former crush working here, it’s too much. She quickly undid her blouse and moved her hands to his belt in quick fashion, before Jim could protest she was gently working his cock with his hand.

“Karen, I…”

“Halpert, you have a chance to fuck your girlfriend at work, are you really going to complain?”

As she continued to stroke him, she turned and bent over the small table and moved Jim behind her, Jim was still dazed as he watched himself enter her in the windowless room.

“Shit, Karen…” He could feel his eyes rolling from pleasure as he moved in and out of Karen, already slick from arousal, Jim had to focus on not making noise, he didn’t know how Karen was doing it, her normal noises perfectly muted to small squeaks as he felt her shudder. She gasped, which was the loudest sound she had made, but it was enough to finish him off, he could feel himself tensing up as he shook slightly while releasing into her.

Karen grabbed a sweatshirt from the table, “I hope Andy won’t mind me using his Cornell sweatshirt to tidy up.” She turned to face a shell-shocked Jim, “look, don’t think I’m like floozy or something…”

Jim quickly stopped her, “of course not, that was hot, we’re dating, and it helped, definitely relaxed and focused now, although, I hope no one noticed…”

“I have dirt on everyone here, if anyone suspects anything, I can quiet them, I’m normally very quiet about that stuff, but Sheila has caught Andy masturbating a few times, Martin used to come in here and cry when he and his ex were breaking up, and Tony would come and sleep in here when he was depressed.”

Jim returned to his office, still amazed by his girlfriend, his mind definitely not on Pam at the moment.

PAM

She kept telling herself she must have been crazy to start classes just a week after signing up for them, she felt unprepared. She was carrying a big bag with all her supplies and textbooks as she walked into her first class. She was prepared for this class to be boring as it was a history of art class, she had never liked history much, but this class was different, she enjoyed it, a lot. As the lecture finished and she put her laptop away, she thought back to who she was in high school, she had been so worried about what others thought of her, Roy gave her a hard time for being smart, but now, she wanted to succeed, she didn’t have pressure from people to not do her best or be herself.

Her next class was painting, which she was nervous about, she loved painting and feared being told she was awful at it. The instructor talked for about ten minutes then left them to just paint, whatever they wanted, for the remainder of class, using whatever style or paints they felt like using. Pam stared at her blank canvas, she was trying to think of what to paint, and then she saw it in her head, she started sketching it first, a tall, skinny, man with unkept hair slouching in front a woman in a dress. She sighed as she looked at it, it was painful, but it was also vivid to her. She quickly mixed some paints and attacked it with vigor. 

By the time the instructor told them to clean up an hour and a half later, she was finishing. On one side was the desk at reception, next to it stood Jim in front of Pam, rejected and dejected, and on the right side of the canvas was a giant cliff, going down to nowhere. In her mind, she called the painting “the plunge,” she both loved and hated it. She was happy with her choice of only bright and dark colors, nothing in between, but she hated the faces that stared back at her, both faces were unhappy, and why? She was afraid to take the plunge into nothingness with someone who would have held her hand and supported her. The woman who was herself in the picture held her hands uncomfortably while the man was dejected, his tall frame bent awkwardly reflecting the heartbreak he may have felt.

The instructor came over and praised her painting, she was older woman, early sixties maybe, with long grey hair, “I love it. The woman looks like you, did you do that on purpose?”

Pam nodded shyly, “yeah, a recent difficult personal experience, I could never put it to words, but here, it made sense.”

“I love it Pam, it’s simple yet complex at the same time, the colors contrast as the feelings would, it’s wonderful.”

Pam felt herself blushing, she wasn’t used to being praised for her art, Roy thought she was a dork for trying at all, the only one who ever encouraged her was the same person whose heart was breaking in the painting. Pam thanked her and answered her questions as best she could without getting emotional, as she painted she had been so focused on the art, that the emotions of the incident had been put aside, compartmentalized, but now as she took it in, she couldn’t get past the look on Jim’s face, it was exactly as she remembered it, not anger, not even pure despair, but a look of ironic disappointment, he hadn’t imagined anything between them, it was there, she was too afraid to admit it and when he had, it terrified her.

Her last class of the day was basic photography, not something she considered herself good at, but it was part of the major and she had taken a mix of classes on purpose, to make sure this was what she wanted to do. The history class was to make sure she could handle things academically, the painting course was to see if she had the artistic skill, and photography was to she if she could adapt and do things out of her comfort zone.

She had her camera, the one recommended by the professor, this class was small, only fourteen students, one of them, a tall girl in her early to mid twenties looked vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. The class was interesting enough, Pam enjoyed learning about contrast and light, they were released to go outside and take some pictures to develop in the last part of class. She walked around the trail to woods just outside of the visual arts buildings. She snapped a few pictures, trying to capture good light and mood as these would be black and white photos.

She saw the girl again, she looked so familiar, yet she wasn’t sure she had actually met her, then another girl called her name, Larissa. Pam felt her blood run cold, Larissa Halpert, she had no idea Jim’s sister went here, yet she had seen the picture at Jim’s place, another on Jim’s phone. Of course, she told herself, of course it had to be his sister, I can’t escape him.

Pam tried to ignore this, she went a different direction, she was trying to take picture of a rotted stump with the light shining on it in a particular way when she heard the same girls talking not far from where she was.

“Why are you taking this class Larissa? You’re a senior and not an art major.”

Larissa laughed, “I just wanted to do something different, I can’t believe you’re in this class too.”

“Unlike you, I need this for graduation.”

“My brother Jim told me I should do something fun, I used to love photography and he thought I would enjoy it, getting into it again.”

“Your brother is kind of hot, is dating anyone?”

“Yeah, he moved to Connecticut, it sucks, but I’m pretty sure it was because the girl he liked rejected him, he was pretty closed mouth about it.”

“Aww, that’s so sad. He’s a good looking guy, and he sounds like he’s sweet.”

“You make him sound like a wimp, but he is sweet, I don’t think he’d ever been in love before, but whenever he talked about this girl he worked with, he would smile and light up, I didn’t say much because he would just deny it.”

Pam couldn’t take anymore, she walked back to the building, tears falling down her cheek. She went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face, as she looked up and saw her reflection in the mirror, she wanted to scream, she loved him, she knew she did, but she was so scared she couldn’t act on it or let him know.

After she calmed down, she walked back to the classroom, she had only taken a few photos, but it would have to do for today. She was relieved when the instructor told them there were three dark rooms for developing so she was able to go to one where Jim’s sister wasn’t.

After her class, Pam entered her apartment feeling emotionally spent, her answering machine was blinking. Pam pressed the button and sat down as the message blared out, “Pam, this is your sister, I didn’t want to call your cell because you’re a terrible driver and I didn’t want you to crash, so get ready and let’s go out tonight!”

Two hours later Pam was at Posh, her sister Penny’s choice, an upscale bar at a popular restaurant. It was ladies’ night and there was a large crowd of people, Pam was the only one at their table, Isabelle was flirting with a guy and Penny was getting drinks, Pam looked around and felt out of place, most of the women here were escaping their relationships or looking for one, she just wanted to sulk. 

“Pam, cheer up, we’re drinking, you don’t work right now, you’re taking art classes and you escaped marrying Roy.”

Pam gave Penny a reproachful look, “be nice, yes, that was the right decision and I know you never liked Roy, but I’d rather be home.”

“Yeah, mom told me about the salesman who got away, he doesn’t have to get away you know, you could go after him.”

Pam felt her throat going tight as she thought of Jim and everything that had happened, “he’s moved on, he has a girlfriend.” She barely got this out without crying, she took a deep breath to calm herself.

“That doesn’t mean much, yes, he moved, yes, he has a girlfriend, but he liked you enough and thought that what you had was special enough that he kissed you when you were engaged. Normally, I wouldn’t like that, but he saw you were unhappy and what an ass Roy is, I guarantee he still likes you, or loves you even, I mean seriously, who does that?”

“Yeah,” that was all Pam could get out before she closed her eyes and felt her emotions returning. Before Penny could ask what was wrong, Pam told her about what happened with Jim’s sister and how terrible she felt. “I never meant to hurt him, I was just confused, you say who does that, but seriously, who tells an engaged woman he loves her and then just leaves town, I mean, I broke off my wedding, I know he knows that.”

Penny nodded and just stared down for a second, “did you tell him or at least call him after you did?”

Tears started to form in the corner of Pam’s eyes again, “no, but I called off my wedding, can’t he try again, that was huge for me.”

Penny rubbed her sister’s shoulder, “I get it, it was huge, but you shot him down Pam, you rejected his love, I mean from what mom said he told you he loved and you told him you were still getting married, which is pretty much an I don’t love you.” Pam’s head shot up and she was about to interject, “I know Pam, you called off your wedding, but all he really knows is that he kissed you and you kissed him back, but then you rejected him, you told him no. If you don’t say anything else or let him know, can you really expect him to?”

Pam remembered very little after that, the last statement from Penny was too much to take, so she instead surrendered to the drink, and drink she did. The next morning, she woke up in a fog, her breath ripe and her stomach uneasy.

“Hey there Doc Holladay, you almost drank that bar out of business.” Pam looked up and saw her sister, she realized she was on her couch, in just a bra and underwear, a blanket over her and in front of her were four different buckets or tupperware. “You see these? You filled two of them without really waking up, it was both impressive and revolting.”

Pam could only moan in reply, but at least how she felt matched her mood, lousy. She tried to sit up, but her head started to spin. Penny sat next to her on the edge of the couch to steady her, “easy there, girl, you should be eternally grateful to your sister, I saved you from calling Jim and telling him off, like ten times, you were an angry drunk last night.”

Pam had faint recollections of her holding different objects and yelling at Jim, “did I hold a spoon and think it was a phone?”

Penny had to muffle some laughter, “oh yeah, and an orange, a tampon you took from the purse of someone we don’t know, someone else’s phone, and my favorite, a vibrator I didn’t even know you had that you pulled out when you ran in your bedroom threatening to call him.”

Pam buried her face in her hands and moaned again, her head felt atrocious, her stomach was nearly as bad, and her sister was still fighting off her laughter. “It’s not funny Penny.”

“I disagree, you may have eventually found a phone, but you were pretty convinced the remote was the phone and you had a conversation, with yourself.”

Pam uncovered her face and looked at her sister again, “I kept telling him off, like yelling at him.”

Penny nodded while continuing to fend off a fit of hysterical laughter, “so much, but you also said something else, each time, with each pretend telephone.”

Pam was feeling worse with every word her sister said, “and what was that?”

Penny looked directly into her eyes, her smile gone, her laughter subdued, “that you loved him and wished you were with him.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the weekend and Pam and Jim have very different weekends.

Pam

Friday, at last, when Pam was at Dunder Mifflin, Friday’s were good because it was the most possible time between having to deal with Michael, but she always sort of disliked Fridays at the same time and couldn’t figure out why, until now, it was because it meant days without Jim, her best friend, the person she looked forward to seeing and talking to the most, yet the very person who she couldn’t face right now.

Now that she wasn’t working, she still looked forward to Fridays, she purposely took all her classes in two-hour chunks on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, leaving Tuesday and Thursday to complete all the work outlined the in syllabi so she could have the weekend to relax. Art history continued to be an interesting class and painting was amazing for her, the last two days they were working on shading in paintings and her painting was again Jim related. This time it was his empty desk the day he didn’t show up to work and she found out he had transferred, which was also the Monday after she had denied his advances and declarations.

The month after Jim left was the most difficult month of her life, she was facing major decisions without her best friend, and she couldn’t call him, he had left because of her, despite what he may have lamely explained in a brief email. She cried for days when she was at home, Roy was at a loss and actually tried to cheer her up and talk to her, which only made it worse. After a week of that, she called of the wedding, destroying Roy and making her feel better about the future but bad for Roy’s devastation.

Her co-workers would whisper about Roy and Jim and how Pam destroyed them, it hurt her, but she couldn’t deny it, it was true. If she had faced her truth months or years before, she would have known to break it off with Roy and admit to Jim how she felt, but she had not been in the habit of dealing with her own truths, she avoided personal conflict at all costs, and now the costs had piled up and nearly crushed her.

Pam gathered up her things at the end of her painting class, she put her painting of Jim’s empty desk away until next time, it looked like a normal empty desk, but the pain it had caused was still so raw for her as she took a final glance. She had an hour until her last class of the day, photography, which she liked as a class, but it was also an awkward mess because Jim’s sister Larissa was in it. She was seven years younger than Jim, she didn’t really look like him, but she possessed his charm and wit, that was easy to see. Monday, overhearing her talk about Jim had brought Pam to tears, Wednesday had gone better, until the last five minutes of class when Larissa showed her developed pictures to the class, it was a series of pictures of Jim at his new job. 

Each picture was of Jim, one in his office working, his head down, his mop of hair looking like it normally did. She laughed when she saw one of he and Dwight eating lunch together, and then she saw one of Jim and Karen, it was great picture, it caught Jim glancing at Karen out of the corner of his eye, the delight on his face was evident, Pam knew it as soon as she saw it, that same look had at one time been reserved for her.

The photo lab was empty as she entered and sat down at a table, she was writing some notes on the morning’s art history lecture when someone sat next to her. Larissa smiled at her, “Hi, I’m Larissa.”

Pam swallowed, she felt fear and sadness, but this girl had done nothing to her other than remind her of a mistake she had made, “Nice to meet you Larissa, I’m Pam.”

Larissa nodded, “So, how do you like this class so far?”

Pam shrugged, “it’s good, this is my first semester here, I just took two intro classes at Luzerne Community, so these are better, smaller class size and a lot more interesting.”

“Are you an art major?”

“Kind of, I’m not sure how long I can keep going, I’ll have to work at some point, I just got laid off, so I took the severance and went to college.” Larissa nodded, Pam couldn’t help but wonder if Larissa already knew she was the girl who had broken Jim’s heart.

“I get it, I have friends who take a semester here, a semester there, it’s not easy. I was fortunate and got a basketball scholarship here, it’s small, but that suits me.”

“That would help, a full scholarship, I can’t imagine.”

Larissa laughed, “it helps that I come from a family of giants, my brothers are six foot six, six foot five, and six foot four.”

Pam tried to feign surprise, “wow, three brothers…look, I can’t pretend, I know your brother, Jim.”

Larissa had a genuine look of surprise, then Pam could literally see her making the connection, “you’re Pam…oh shit, sorry.”

Pam smiled sadly, a look she felt like she was perfecting lately, “you have nothing to be sorry for, me on the other hand…”

Larissa reached out and grabbed her arm gently yet firmly, “Pam, I know the situation, you were engaged, it couldn’t have been easy, it was hard on him because I think you’re the only…”

Pam swallowed, “I know, the only woman he’s loved, yeah. I hate how things were left, I was just so confused, I had this life in front of me I didn’t want and then your brother shows up and I was too stupid to realize it, please don’t tell him this, I know he has a girlfriend there, and I want him to be happy.”

Larissa said nothing for a second, “I of course won’t say anything, but don’t feel too badly, it was obviously helpful if you got out of relationship you were unhappy in, things have a way of working themselves out.”

Pam nodded, I’m really happy for Jim, he didn’t date much when he worked together, which I guess is my fault.”

Larissa held up a hand, “Pam, don’t, I don’t know or need to know every detail of what happened, but I do know Jim felt this way for a while and waited until just before your wedding. My brother isn’t that much different from you, he stayed quiet, kept his head down and lived a difficult life he didn’t enjoy, he saw you be unhappy with your fiancé and yet said nothing and did nothing. He can’t expect you to just instantly snap out your rut because he wanted out of his, that’s not how things work.”

Pam wanted to cry but she was willing herself to stay strong, “thanks Larissa, I don’t deserve your kindness.”

Larissa frowned, “that’s not true, of course you do. You are obviously an amazing person if he fell in love with you and you guys were such good friends, that’s not him, at all. He would date, but he never really liked any of the girls, you met his standards, even if he did fall in love with an engaged woman, but it’s like my dad used to say when we’d get down as kids, cheer up kids, life sucks and then you die.”

Pam laughed through a few tears, “your dad said that?”

Larissa laughed, “oh yeah, all the time. Hey, don’t worry about me telling my brother, I will keep our friendship quiet, he doesn’t need to know.”

Pam smiled as best she could, “thank you, so much, this means a lot, I mean really…”

“Hey, it’s nothing. It’s a terrifyingly small world small sometimes.”

Pam nodded glumly, “yeah, it really is.”

Friday night was exactly what Pam thought she wanted, a quiet night at home, on her couch, watching movies and just relaxing after her first week of classes. She was flipping through the channels and debating whether she should just put on one of her own movies when she turned it to When Harry Met Sally. It was at the end, Billy Crystal was in his apartment trying to convince himself he was fine on his own, much like Pam was right at that moment. She wanted to turn the channel and not watch the happy ending, but she couldn’t make herself do it, instead she watched as Harry started running through the streets of New York trying to find Meg Ryan and confess his love for her. Pam felt like this was pure torture due to her recent events with Jim, and then Harry said the line that was the final blow, “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

With that, relaxing went out then window and she was left an inconsolable mess, she wasn’t crying, but she felt like anything could set her off. Nothing she did could take her mind off Jim and what she really wanted, but her reality was different from Harry and Sally’s she kept telling herself. Jim has moved on and has someone, he looks happy, she can’t just decide it’s time and tell him, but then she’d remind herself that Jim did exactly that. She felt like she was giving herself a headache arguing with herself, but she eventually fell asleep on the couch in the middle of her own self argument.

Saturday morning did nothing to make her feel better, she ran into Kelly at the store, she was a mess because Ryan had left and dumped her, yet Kelly somehow knew that Ryan was trying to win over Jim’s new girlfriend and that he was confident he could do so. In the afternoon she went to a movie with Penny, Stranger than Fiction, she loved it, but she still cried, a lot when she saw what it took to make Will Ferrell’s character be brave and go after the woman he wanted. 

Saturday night she was no better off than she had been at the beginning of the week, she felt just as confused and blamed herself for hurting Jim and not acting on her feelings she had kept pushed so far down. She hoped next week would be better, that maybe she could start to move on like Jim had been able to do.

JIM

He had mixed feelings about this Friday, he was glad it was the weekend, no work, no talking about paper, but the week had been odd to say the least. He and Dwight were friends, he had to say it to himself several times to realize it was true, he and Dwight were friends. Dwight was staying an extra day to take Martin, Karen and Jim to a paintball place in Stamford. Jim thought about how Pam would react if she ever heard about this. Dwight had even met and made an impression on his sister, Larissa. She couldn’t believe the coworker he had talked about so much was the man Jim was eating lunch with and talking about what the scariest movie they had ever seen was. Jim of course thought it was the Exorcist, but Dwight still being Dwight thought it was Multiplicity with Michael Keaton because a lazy and stupid man could replicate himself and inflect his stupidity on the world.

Jim was finishing up a weekly report when Ryan came in his office, “So, Halpert, you don’t know that Pam called off her wedding?”

Jim sighed, annoyed by Ryan and his cockiness, “yes, I know, but as you know, even though you asked her out, several times, I am dating Karen, who really doesn’t like you, I mean, I find you a little abrasive now, but you’re harmless, you have yet to make a sale, I made five today, while managing the branch and filling out paperwork.”

Ryan went red, “sorry, just…”

“Look, I’m not a dick, I don’t like being mean, but I also don’t like people who for some reason think they are so much better than me and brag about trying to steal my girlfriend, which I don’t understand as Karen and I both happen to be your bosses.”

“I just didn’t think that…”

“That I’d do anything in response, you’d better hope not, I have years of pranking experience and the universe has a sense of humor and Dwight and I are good friends, and by the way, he is begging me to let him get you back.”

Ryan now looked more pale than red, “okay, I won’t do that again, don’t let Dwight get back at me, he has access to all sorts of crazy animals and his cousin worries me.”

At five, he’d had enough, he stood up and stretched, said goodbye to a few people, and walked over to Dwight’s temporary desk. “You ready man?”

“Yeah, give me a second. Thanks for letting me stay at your place, I hope I haven’t gotten in the way of lady time.”

“Nah, it’s not a problem, my pleasure in fact, plus when I told Ryan you wanted to get back at him for what he did to me, I thought he might pass out.”

Dwight gave the devilish grin only he could do, “excellent, good to know. I think between him and Andy, one of them will need to be taken down, Schrute Style.”

“I hope not, in the past Schrute style has included lectures from corporate.”

Dwight nodded, “oh yeah, the throwing star incident of two-thousand and three, luckily it was just Meredith and not one of the good employees.”

Karen walked over to he and Dwight, “so, your place tonight, are you okay if I sleep over, or are you two braiding each other’s hair?”

Dwight shook his head, “no, tonight we were going to weave nightgowns, like grandmother Schrute used to wear.”

“Wow, Dwight, a good return, Stamford’s been good for you man.”

“It has, I wish the soil was better here, I’d consider it, but it’d be hard to give up the family farm.”

That night as they ate dinner and watched a compromise movie, Dwight wanted Sci Fi and Jim wanted gritty, so Karen suggested Blade Runner. The three of them were sprawled around the living room watching the movie and eating Chinese delivery, “Dwight, do these androids freak you out? Replicants and all that.”

Dwight shook his head, “have you seen how crappy actual robots are right now? Even the expensive Japanese sex robot doesn’t look that great.”

Karen nearly choked, “a sex robot?”

“Yeah, I know, it sounds weird, but think about the hardworking tech types, I read it’s either that or prostitutes.”

“I heard something similar on NPR, so many workers, a lot of hours worked, so they have a lot of money and not much time.” Ji grinned at Karen as he said it.

Dwight pointed his chopsticks and Jim, “exactly, rich tech geek with no time means either hookering up or building a machine to give you your jollies, which sounds risky, when machines go wrong, they tend to mangle things…the things I’ve seen on the farm.”

Karen almost choked again, “okay, gross, and maybe we should get in on the ground floor, make some money.”

“I’m with Dwight,” Jim put his arm around Karen, “those sex robots would have to be a lot more convincing than the stuff at the science center.”

The next morning went much different than Jim expected, while Dwight took paintball very serious, the four of them, he, Dwight, Martin and Karen all had a good time. Dwight was a good shot and he talked good trash to the other paintballers, especially some cocky middle school kids who shot Jim in the head. Jim could not believe that he was actually going to miss Dwight when he left to go back to Scranton, but thanks to no Michael and fewer crazy people, it was true.

Sunday, Jim told his mom he’d come home for lunch with his dad and her, as he came in the door, his yell of I’m home was met with a scream of delight from his sister.

“Larissa, nice surprise, didn’t expect to see you here. Mom says you visit less than I do.”

Larissa rolled her eyes, “yeah, she guilts me about it all the time too, but it’s not basketball season and I’m taking a summer class so I’m not working, I have more time.”

“Oh yeah, how is photography? I hope you like it, I’d feel bad for telling you to take it, but not that bad.” Jim started looking for snacks and found a tin of cheddar popcorn.

“It’s a great class, I…uh…well…”

“I’m glad it’s not a speech class.” Jim threw popcorn at his sister.

“Shut up, it’s just that I have something to tell you, but I’m not supposed to, or rather, I promised I wouldn’t.”

Jim laughed, “yeah right, you gossip as much as mom, she’s not here, right?”

“No, they took grandma to her church. Oh screw it, here it is, Pam Beesly is in my photography class.”

Jim slumped down onto one of the kitchen chairs, the chair groaned from the action, “of course. Can’t get her out of my head. She’s a very nice person, I’m glad you get to know her, look, please don’t try and play matchmaker, I’m with Karen, she’s great, amazing in fact.”

“Do you love her though? You told Pam you were in love with her.”

Jim groaned, “holy shit, why pay for cable, you can just watch my life and get entertained. Look, I like Karen a lot, the love thing, it’s hard for me, the only time I truly felt it, it didn’t work out.”

Larissa sat down in the chair next to him, “she called off her wedding.”

“Yes, I’m aware, but I have a girlfriend who kisses me back, fuck, we had sex at work…sorry, a bit too much information, but Karen likes me, Pam made it very evident that we were in the friend zone, she told me that she was sorry I mistook our friendship.”

Larissa scrunched up her face in reaction, “that is tough to hear, and for the record, I’m glad you’re happy with Karen, I just think you and Pam had bad timing.”

“I don’t know, things are good for me, I’m not second guessing or what iffing anything, I have a good job, a crazy hot and fun girlfriend and am close friends with the guy that used to be my nemesis, so I’m happy, really happy.”

Larissa smiled, “okay, sorry I brought up Pam, I told her I wouldn’t say anything, I just think the two of you would be great together, but I’m super glad you’re happy with Karen, and sex at work, maybe I should warn mom her little Jim is a naughty boy at work.”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, it slipped out.”

Larissa snickered, “more like it slipped in”

Jim spit out some of the grape soda he was drinking, “Rissa, holy crap, enough, mom and dad will be home and I don’t want her hearing that, I’d never hear the end of it and she’d never like Karen.”

“Does she think you’re a virgin or something?”

“Larissa, stop, and no, I hope not, she always did baby me. She had dad give me the sex talk before I went to college, that was awkward, it finally got so weird that I just told him I’d already had sex, and then stupidly added with a few different girls, he went red and told me not to brag about that to mom, I felt stupid.”

“Look at you, Jim the high school slut.”

Jim threw some more popcorn at her, “stop, part of the reason I’ve never been in love is because of the girls I was around. I was good at basketball so I was stuck with the shallow types, I liked some dorky girls but was too shy, the cheerleaders liked me, so I went with them and they felt socially obligated to have sex, and I wasn’t going to say no, I am a guy, but I was never impressed with the girls I dated.”

Larissa held up a single finger like she was dispersing wisdom, “until you met a Pam Beesly who wasn’t shallow, didn’t throw herself upon you, and was a little dorky.”

Jim felt himself blushing, “yeah, something like that. I do like Karen though, she’s smart, she’s funny, she wasn’t a cheerleader, and she likes my kind of movies. She suggested Blade Runner this weekend, that was awesome.”

Larissa stood up and slapped him on the back, “sorry Jimmy, just busting your balls big brother, I’m happy for you. I still think you and Pam would be great together, but apparently it’s not in the stars, our Jimmy the stud boy is destined for a different path.”

This time Jim threw his empty soda can at her head.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions, decisions

JIM

“Jim, someone called you, but I forgot to write it down.” Alex was the temp serving in reception, supposedly he was qualified and had a lot of experience, but everyone despised him. In three weeks, he had messed up the paperwork he swore he knew how to do, forgot to turn in the payroll forms for people’s commissions and seemed to screw up every message he took for Jim. Jan explained to him that they didn’t have a lot of choices and that he should give him a chance, but it was getting ridiculous. 

“Alex, can you at least tell me if it was a man or woman, Sheila Daniels of Manfried Publishing was supposed to call.”

Alex shrugged, “Couldn’t tell you man, sorry.”

Jim looked at Karen who made the fired sign with her finger across her neck, Oscar started swearing in Spanish, and Dwight who was there for his one day a week mimed putting a gun together and shooting him. “Okay, Alex, my office, now.”

Alex left Jim’s office confused as to why he got fired, everyone thanked Jim but also wondered who would do reception now. Andy seemed angrier than normal, “C’mon Tuna, you’re the boss, who’s going to take my messages?”

Jim turned on him, “Andy, I guess that will be you for now, you had a warning from Josh two weeks ago when he finished up my training and you have still not made another sale, Ryan has stepped it up and made three sales this week. Your choice, I fire you or you fill in as receptionist until we find someone.”

Andy sat down and started to cry, “why are you so mean to me Tuna?”

Karen and Dwight both stood up, Karen signaled to Dwight to stay put, she knew he would only make him cry more, “Andy, you send complaints daily to corporate about Jim, David Wallace himself said we could fire you, he’s tried to be nice, but you suck. If you don’t want to be fired, then just work reception.”

“Fine Karen…” as Andy spoke it was evident his getting angry, which was good for no one, but especially him.

Before he could finish, Jim interrupted, “Andy, any more anger problems and you will be gone as well, pull it together and just do your job.”

Jan called later that day, “are you sure you want Andy in reception, you can fire him if you want, your branch’s numbers are excellent, he’s only bringing you down.”

Jim sighed, “I’ll give him a chance.”

“Well, I’m scheduled to talk to Pam in a week, she only has two weeks left in her semester and Michael told me she was applying for jobs for when she finishes.”

Jim tried to act neutral, “she is good at what she does, who knows, Andy could work out.”

“I just don’t trust him Jim, nobody does for that matter, I will talk to Pam, she’d be great for your branch.”

“For sure, thanks Jan.”

Jim was alone in the breakroom, he was trying to gather his thoughts and come to terms with the possibility that Pam could come to Stamford, he felt nervous about it, but he didn’t want to, she was his friend, he was with Karen, why should he be so hung up on Pam. He didn’t notice Dwight walk in, “Jim, are you okay, you look worried, did Andy threaten you?”

Jim grinned, “no, that wouldn’t worry me, at all.”

Dwight looked pensive, “no, I suppose not, then it must be about Pam.”

Jim closed his eyes in surprise, “wow, I’m way to easy to read.”

“I’d like to think I’m good at reading people, but then, I worshipped Michael and he treated me like crap, so yeah, you must be. You’re with Karen though, would it really be so bad, Pam is smart and good at her job.”

Jim nodded, “yeah for sure, but Dwight, you have a girlfriend, who I’ve never met or heard her name, but I still believe you, but wouldn’t you upset if you thought she was the one or you at least knew she was the one for you? Wouldn’t you be kind of hung up on her?”

“My girlfriend is who I want to be with and I worry all the time, she’s very harsh and has a lot of rules about our relationship, I have to keep it quiet, she doesn’t like attention. Yes, I get it, but don’t you like Karen, a lot? She’s fun to be around, she’s pretty, and she’s intimidating to people, I like that.”

“No, you’re right, on all accounts, I don’t know why I’m so hung up on her, I just need to move on, I mean I am, but now I need to just realize that it will never happen, Pam and I and that she just didn’t feel the same.”

“I thought she might, honestly, but she is also a person of habit Jim, more so than you or I, she stayed with Roy because she was used to it, when she called off her wedding, people would talk about how ruthless she was, destroying you and Roy, but I don’t see it that way, you caught her off guard, she wasn’t ready, and then she realized how she felt and called it with Roy. I think she’s still trying to figure out what she really wants because she’s terrified of hurting more people.”

Jim shook his head slightly in disbelief, “wow, Dwight, where’d that insight come from? Are you the same guy I worked with all these years?”

“I think so, if I were a replicant, I’d have to know, according to Battle Star Galactica.”

“Yeah, it’s you.”

Jim walked in his apartment after work, tired and confused, Karen was on her way over and he knew he needed to get his mind right, he liked Karen, a lot. He had convinced himself he was in love with Pam, but she had never reciprocated, she had kissed him back, he though, but then she still let him leave, and she did apologize for Jim misreading their friendship. He sighed as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, he hated that his mind couldn’t let this go, it wasn’t fair to Karen, but it also wasn’t fair to himself, he had a great girlfriend, but everything she did was automatically compared to Pam, he didn’t know how to stop himself from doing that short of hypnosis or a lobotomy.

Karen came through the door as Jim was watching a Phillies game on tv, “baseball? Alright, let’s finish the game, then I have some plans for us.”

“Like what? This sounds interesting.”

True to her word, Karen watched the rest of the game with him, she even asked relevant questions and made good comments despite not being a big baseball fan. As the game finished, Karen pulled Jim up off the couch, “go change, where sweats or pants easy to move in.”

Jim grumbled a little, his mind racing to think what she could be up to, after he changed, they got in Karen’s car, she was quiet but smiled the entire way, Jim smiled and admired Karen even more as they pulled into the parking lot of some batting cages. “Really? You don’t have to do this for.”

Karen smiled, “I want to, plus, this is better than watching.”

Jim went first, thinking he could still be okay, he’d played a lot of softball for various rec teams, Karen laughed at him when he whiffed a few times, at the end, he was connecting more. Jim thought that Karen would see how difficult if could be when she walked up, but she then connected on the first ten balls, one of them going further than any of Jim’s.

“Did I mention I played some softball in high school? I was good, but I hate being defined by sports.”

“No, you definitely left that part out, on purpose. I’ve been hustled.”

“But it’s fun, this beats watching the a pitcher take a minute to decide what pitch to throw.”

“Hmm, this is fun, but I don’t know about the pitcher thing, it’s an art form.”

The next week was a good one for Jim, after the batting cages, he had felt closer to Karen, she was willing to do things for him, she also knew how to have fun and she had an air of mystery when it came to her past. He had thought about Pam a lot less during that week, that was a good sign for him, he didn’t expect to forget about her overnight, but he was comparing she and Karen a lot less and just enjoying his time with Karen, that’s what he wanted and needed. 

Karen left after work to go to New York to hang out with some friends for the weekend, Jim was looking forward to watching baseball and sleeping, not that sex with his girlfriend was a bad reason to be tired some nights, but a relaxing weekend was also nice. He was feeling good about life as he pulled into his parking space, he got out of his car and as he walked up the stairs, he gasped and his jaw dropped when he saw it, there, at his own front door, was sitting the last person he expected to see right now.

PAM

Pam looked around the room, surrounding her were her paintings from four weeks of painting class, the more she looked at them, the worst she felt. Every single one had to do with Jim, most weren’t obvious like her first painting of the semester, but she knew why she painted every single one, what the meaning was and how it related to Jim. She had loved all of her classes, she had enjoyed taking pre-requisite classes at the community college, but this had felt different, more official somehow, but now she was down to only two more weeks.

She glanced at the calendar and sighed, she needed money, she would have enough money from her severance package to pay for tuition and classes, but not for living, so she needed a job. She decided to take at least a semester off and save money, she was even considering moving back home with her parents, but Penny kept warning her that fought a lot.

In one week, she had to select some of her paintings for show at the fine arts building, all of the students from that class did. She was extremely nervous, she had learned a lot and felt more confident, she no longer just drew simple buildings or office supplies, but things that meant something. Her latest painting had to be a portrait, but it also had to somehow convey a story or history. She chose to do a self-portrait, of her in her wedding dress, looking sad and weighed down by the knowledge that a better life existed. She hated the process of painting it at first, but the more she worked on it, the more she realized that as she painted the lines and wrinkles on her face, showing how she felt, it opened her eyes to another truth, she loved Jim. 

It wasn’t that before she didn’t think she loved him, but as she had painted a sad and forlorn version of herself, she realized that Jim brought out the opposite. He fourth painting of the semester was of her opening the teapot gift from Jim, the pure joy on her face was evident, but during the painting of that particular piece, she had focused on her guilt and frustration with the situation.

The next Wednesday, she was sitting the photo lab when Larissa came in, “hey Pam, how are you?”

Pam smiled, she truly liked Larissa, she was very much like Jim in her likeable personality, “I’m okay, how are you?”

“I’m so tired, I’ve been arguing with my mom, she’s a real busybody sometimes, but she found out I’m planning on moving in with my boyfriend and she is concerned he’s not the right man for me, but she’s never met him because I knew she’d be this way.”

“Sorry, that has to suck. My parents tolerated Roy, but never said anything, if they had…”

“It would be different if he didn’t make me happy, but he does, he’s a great guy. He’s intelligent, he and Jim were friends, he was one of Jim’s smart friends, not his dumb jock friends. He runs a small investment firm, he’s good at it, he’s perfect for me.”

“Has your mom said exactly why she doesn’t like him?”

Larissa shook her head, “oh no, not my mother, she phrases it all as concern for me, that he’s not right for me because he’s older and I should experience life more, I mean I do see her point a little, but I’ve travelled, I’m graduating college and moving in, not getting pregnant or married. Betsy Halpert is a tough woman to reckon with, if you ever meet her, just agree with her and keep your distance.”

“Has your mom said anything about Jim’s new girlfriend?”

Larissa shook her head and bit her lip, “no, but she’s not a huge fan, but I’ll stop talking.”

“She seems nice, even Dwight told Angela he liked her, and he’s Dwight.”

Larissa started to blush, “it has nothing to do with that, it’s just, well…”

Pam started to feel uncomfortable, this was Jim, everything was complicated with the two of them, “it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”

Larissa took a deep breath, “here it is, my mom somehow knows about how he told you he loved you and what happened…”

Pam felt queasy suddenly, “really, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s nothing bad, she thinks that he reacted to quickly, that he should have given you time. It’s amazing how she likes you, no offense, but you know, moms and their baby boys, but she doesn’t like Dan and she met him once like fifteen years ago.”

“Oh god, I don’t feel good, I cause so many problems.”

Larissa rolled her eyes, “no, you didn’t, he fell in love with you, he told you this right before you were going to get married, he owns a lot of it, but real truth is that it was a good thing, he finally spoke up and you realized you didn’t want the life you were headed towards, a good thing.”

“I wish I knew where I was headed now, I need a job, badly.”

“You could go work in Connecticut, for Jim….sorry.”

“You’re fine, they offered me a job, twice, but I don’t know, it would be really awkward, and mostly for me.”

“My mom of course has an opinion on this, she thinks you should tell Jim if you have feelings, even if he’s with someone, you know, return the favor and let him see how it feels.”

“I could never do that.”

The next two days, it was all Pam could think about, telling Jim how she felt, letting him know her truth, not caring if it was inconvenient for him. She had taken her last final that morning and was done with everything, the internet was giving her no new leads for jobs, she was about to start looking at a temp agency when her phone rang. It was a New York area code, which meant Jan.

“Hello?”

“Pam, Jan Levinson, I’m calling with a job offer, David Wallace hates who is working reception right now and has upped the offer to ten thousand for the move and a fifteen hundred dollar a month raise. Think about it, he says the offer stand for three months because he’s convinced no one in Connecticut can effectively work reception for some reason.”

Pam told her she’d think about it, which she would. After hanging up, she looked around her apartment, why stay here? She was done with classes, she needed money and she loved Jim, what was stopping her?

Pam was tired of thinking about her decision, so she left her apartment to buy a burger, as she drove up to place her order, she noticed the car in front of her, it was Michael. She hoped he wouldn’t see her, she sunk down as low as she could in her seat, her window was down and she could hear him talking as he ordered, he was flirting and trying to be funny, which only came out as terrifying because it was Michael.

She managed to go unnoticed, he pulled away and left, when she picked up her burger, the lady who handed it to her smiled, it was Meredith. “Meredith?”

“Hey Pam, you got a job yet?”

Pam shook her head, “no.”

“That’s why I’m here, Michael doesn’t either, Angela got hired, Kevin will never find work, and Phyllis finally demanded that Bob Vance fire his secretary and hire her. It’s tough out there.”

“Yeah.”

“Meanwhile Halpert got a promotion, raise, and from what I hear a hot girlfriend, I’ve pictured them doing it a few times.”

“Okay, thanks Meredith, see you.” Pam drove off, her thought first drifted to Jim, and then to her own predicament, why was she turning down a good job, more money and a chance to at least be around the man she finally realized she was in love with.

Pam turned her car around and headed for the highway, she tried not to think about what she would do, she had an address for Jim because of the Jan, she told Pam that corporate could lease her a place by him, she didn’t want to chance running into the old Scranton people, and she really hoped that Karen wouldn’t be with Jim.

She parked her car and her nerves started to go crazy, she couldn’t sit still, no matter how she sat, she wasn’t comfortable. She got up and walked around, trying to see if fresh air would help, it didn’t. She ran back and forth between her car and the dumpster a few times, and then she felt tired, but she didn’t want to sit in her car again, she opted instead to sit at Jim’s front door.

She texted Penny telling her what she was doing, and then she texted Larissa as well, she didn’t know why, but she felt like maybe she needed support in this.

Her phone buzzed with the incoming texts.

Penny: yay, go for it, you should have done this already

Larissa: don’t tell karen, I don’t know her, but I’m rooting for you.

She laughed as she texted them back, and then she heard a gasp and noticed the tall man she had come to see standing with his mouth open and a confused look on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heaven and then hell

PAM and JIM

“Beesly? What’s up?” He tried to look happy and hide the terror he felt, he wasn’t sure how long it had been since he had seen her, but the butterflies were back, his palms felt sweaty, nothing had changed.

“Hey Jim, is it okay if we talk?”

Jim swallowed hard, “sure.” He fumbled with his keys and finally unlocked his door, he was relieved Karen was out of town and that Dwight was leaving for Scranton directly from work. He clumsily motioned for her to sit down, he had no idea what she wanted or if he would even be able to talk. “Soooo,” his mouth felt crazy dry, he also felt like it was suddenly a thousand degrees in his apartment.

Pam tried to smile, but as she looked at him, her own emotions took over. “I’m sorry.”

Jim looked blankly at her, his mind had played over a similar scenario so many times over but now as it was happening to him in real time, he had no idea what to say or do. “It’s…I..I mean…no problem.”

Pam leaned back, her hands covering her eyes, “I fucked it up Jim, I felt the same, I just…I was so blind. I knew how felt about you, but I pushed it so far down, but in the end, I only hurt you and then Roy.”

Jim shook his head, the tears returning, “I’m fine, really.”

Pam took her hands from her face and looked him incredulously, “yeah, right, you’re fine, you left town and have talked to me once since then, that’s not fine Jim, that’s the opposite. I miss you.”

Jim felt faint, this is what he had wanted for so long, for her to say she felt the same, but now, it was all so complicated, “Pam, I’m with Karen…”

Pam was ready for this, she pounced, “really, so I can be engaged, less than two weeks from my wedding and it’s okay for you to kiss me and tell me you love me, but me coming for a job and saying I felt the same, that’s wrong because you have a girlfriend?”

Jim sighed, “I’m sorry too Pam, and of course I’ve missed you, I just thought you didn’t feel the same.”

Pam sat up straight, “but you knew I called off my wedding, right?”

He nodded numbly, “of course, it’s just that I already told you how I felt.”

It was Pam’s turn to take a deep breath, “Jim, you told me how you felt and then got the fuck out of Dodge so fast my head was spinning, I had to break off a wedding, do you know how fucking hard that is? It wasn’t just me caught up in this, I had to talk to my family, to Roy and his family, you only had to worry about you, but you left, you left, and I was all alone to face my decisions. I called off my wedding and you sat back, I could have called, but I was confused Jim, I was so confused!” She let herself calm down a little before continuing, “I had no one but my parents and Penny, no one else understood, you got to start over and be happy, escape the reality of confessing your love to me, but I was left holding the bag, all alone.” As she finished, her tears poured out as her emotions had been building up with each word.

Jim’s head was spinning, he had been busy placing so much blame on her he hadn’t for one second considered what she had to face and deal with. “I’m sorry isn’t enough, I know that…” he felt himself stumbling over his words, his tongue felt heavy, “I was selfish, I only saw my side. I’m sorry, truly.”

Pam nodded in agreement, her hands covered her eyes again as she squeaked out a sentence, “I do love you.”

Jim swallowed so hard he thought he almost swallowed his tongue, he felt dizzier than before, “what?”

Pam threw her hands down, uncovering her face, “I said I love you too, you dumbass, I called off my fucking wedding! People don’t do that if they don’t have a reason, you were my reason, but now…”

Jim closed his eyes, this is what we wanted, but now it felt different, “I’m an idiot. I romanticized everything so much I never thought of realities, I blame movies.”

Pam offered a small grin through her tears, “that’s fine, but what now? I left Roy, it’s over, but I don’t want you to hurt Karen, she has no fault in any of this.”

“Karen,” Jim said as he realized he hadn’t thought much about her as they spoke, “yeah, but it’s different, we haven’t dated for that long…”

“Jim, you could just dump her? I guess I did that to Roy, holy shit, do you have any alcohol here? A lot of emotions have been exposed and it’s a lot to take sober.”

Jim stood up, “yeah, of course.” He had to steady himself, she wasn’t lying about the emotions, he felt raw, he was dizzy, he took careful steps to the kitchen and reached up to the highest cabinet and took out a large bottle and two glasses. “Vodka okay? Dwight gave this to me as a thank you for letting him stay with me when he comes to town.”

Pam raised her head up, “how did you guys become such good friends?”

Jim gestured clumsily with his hands, “I don’t know for sure, I think the absence of Michael and having a new space helped. Who knows what would have happened if I went back to Scranton as Michael’s number two.”

“Can you really just leave Karen like that? I know, I did it to Roy, but I had a lot of reasons I chose to ignore, until you told me you loved me, then everything that I had ignored before seemed so egregious. I mean, the bastard had made out with a girl after we got engaged, he wasted our money and only wanted us to have one car, which he drove all the time, I looked at all that and hated myself for going along with it for so long.”

Jim held out the vodka and glasses, “I think we need to start drinking.” He sat down next to her on the couch and carefully poured them each a glass, they held up their glasses, “here’s to your health Beesly,” and they both tipped their glasses back, emptying them.

Pam seemed unaffected while Jim felt it, Pam still felt to raw, “let’s have another, I lived with Roy for a long time, the only thing I really learned from him was how to drink.”

Jim poured again, Pam beat him to the punch this time, “to old friends,” Jim smiled, and they slammed their drinks back. Little was said after that, they would mutter a few words, and then one of them would feel overly emotional and the other would suggest a drink. Both of them were in a haze, for Pam, she felt braver than she had before, she had more she wanted to say, for Jim, he just felt in awe of the woman he had loved for so long and felt so conflicted about.

“Beesly, I’m drunk. Haven’t done that much lately, just once at work?”

Pam burst out laughing, “shut up, at work?”

Jim smiled a huge toothy grin, “fuck yeah, angry Andy brought in some vile shit and we got drunk while doing form cosmpotladation.”

“I think you mean consolidation.” Pam pushed him softly, but enough to make him lean over so he was laying down on his side of the couch.

“Yeah, that. I’m fucked Pam, no matter what I do, I’m so fucked. If I leave Karen, I’m a bad guy, if I don’t leave Karen I’m an idiot because I love you.”

Pam tried to hit him but missed and slumped over until she now half laying on him. Pam frowned at him, “how’d you do that?”

Jim shrugged, “I don’t even know, but it was good, huh, I can feel your boobs on my arm.”

Pam giggled, “you said boobs and meant my boobs, nice.”

Jim started giggling, soon they were both laughing, hard, they both seemed to stop at the same time and neither one was sure who initiated it, but they were soon kissing. Even drunk, Pam was amazed at how soft, yet passionate Jim could kiss, Roy just sort of jammed his tongue down her throat, and then stopped kissing all together preferring to just have sex to express emotion.

Jim opened his eyes after a few minutes and then stopped, he felt surprise and began laughing again. “What is it Halpert?”

“I’m kissing Pam fucking Beesly, it’s amazing, you should try it.”

Pam smiled, “it is awesome, huh?”

Jim was about to kiss her again, but Pam pulled back, “what? Did I do something wrong?”

“What about Karen?”

Jim looked around, “she’s not here, but she wouldn’t like this, plus, I don’t love her.”

Pam put up her finger stopping him from advancing, “but you fucked her.”

Jim nodded, not liking how his head felt when he did so, “yeah, some, sorry. I thought you didn’t love me, I was stupid, remember?”

Pam closed her eyes, she wanted to be mad, but here she was laying on top of him, he felt so good. She moved her arm to steady herself so that she could kiss him again, but instead she grazed something hard. “Jim,” her eyes were wide, “you’re a little excited there, buddy.”

Jim sputtered and coughed from surprise at Pam’s candor, “well, Beesly, you are the most attractive woman I’ve ever met, not to mention the smartest, kindest, funniest…”

Pam didn’t let him finish before kissing him again, harder, more intense, her hand rubbing against his erection through is pants, she felt him moan gently through their kissing, his hands busied themselves lifting her shirt slightly and probing the skin at her sides. Pam giggled and pulled back momentarily, “fuck it,” she then clumsily removed her shirt, Jim stared in wonder, he thought his eyes might pop out his skull when she reached back and undid her bra.

“I have to be dreaming, not real, dreaming.”

Pam laughed and then tugged at his belt, undoing his pants, “I have been curious to see what’s under here…”

Jim closed his eyes from pure delight, he was with Pam, he may have been hammered, but not so much that he couldn’t appreciate what was happening. His took a sharp breath when Pam’s hands gently stroked him, he leaned up and took one of her breasts in his mouth, savoring the moment, relishing every touch his tongue made to her nipple as she made cute sounds of approval.

Jim had no idea how long he had holding, kissing, and licking Pam’s breast, he could have gone on indefinitely, only when she stopped stroking his cock did he notice, but then it was her eyes he noticed, he had always loved them, but now, they were full of desire and sadness, as if she thought this was doomed. Jim was about to talk when Pam stopped him by kissing him, taking off her own pants as she did so, then she grinned as she straddled him, used her hand quickly and Jim audibly gasped for the second time that evening when he felt himself enter her, Pam Beesly.

As she began rocking back and forth, grinding as he was inside her, he knew he’d never seen anything more beautiful in his life, he couldn’t take his eyes off her, her eyes were closed more most of it, when she did open them he was struck by the apparent sadness he saw. He pulled her down towards him, kissing and licking the other breast this time, Pam’s movements began to feel longer and longer, more drawn out, he looked up as she closed her eyes hard, her face squinted, he noticed a slight tremble.

He couldn’t pay attention for too long because soon he felt the signals and knew he was about to have his own, “fuck, Pam, I’m…” Pam ground on him harder, back and forth, back and forth, a look a mischief in her eyes now, Jim yelled her name again as he released in her.

Pam collapsed on him, Jim wrapped his arms around her, even after his orgasm the excitement of so much skin on skin contact with Pam was exhilarating. Jim kissed the top of her head, Pam’s breathing felt different as she was on top of him, he finally realized she was crying.

“Pam, what’s wrong?”

“Us, Jim, us. We fucked it up again, you’re still with Karen and I just fucked you on your couch, that’s what’s wrong Jim.”

“Pam, shh, it’s alright, yes, I should have called things off first, but we are also pretty drunk.”

Jim sat them both up, he stood up carefully and helped her up as the walked up the stairs to his bedroom, he dug through a drawer and handed her some sweats, “here, put these on, sleep, we need sleep. Pam didn’t argue, she put on his sweats and an old Dunder Mifflin t-shirt. They both laid down and soon both fell asleep.

Her breath did it, she opened her mouth and tasted how terrible it was and she started to wake up, her head hurt, and she tried to think about last night, she moved her arm and as she touched Jim, wrapped around her, she started to panic again.

“Jim, wake up.” Jim groaned but didn’t move. Pam nudged him, “Jim, serious, wake up.”

Jim started to open his mouth and looked like his breath was also waking him up now, “Shit, we drank so much last night.”

Pam pushed him, “that’s not the stupidest thing we did, how could we do this, you have a girlfriend!”

Jim tried to hold her, “Pam, it’s okay, I mean it was shitty, but it’s us, I love you, you said you loved me…”

“So? Fuck everyone around us, we’re in love so lets just hurt people? That’s not a great way to start off Jim.”

Jim tried to comfort her and hold her gently, Pam, racked by guilt of their indiscretion wiggled and pushed to get off the bed. Jim stopped trying and Pam stood up. “This was a mistake Jim, a huge mistake, you have a girlfriend and yet we got drunk and didn’t care.”

His panic was starting to set in, this is not how his first night with Pam was supposed to be, “Pam, yes, it was a mistake, but we are in love. I would marry you right now…”

“Marriage? Seriously Halpert? You just cheated on your girlfriend and now you’re proposing, excuse me if I’m not touched.”

Pam started pacing back and forth and then headed for the door, “Pam, wait, let’s talk about this, please.” Pam left the room and started down the stairs, “Pam!”

Jim chased after her, as he came downstairs, she was pulling on her own pants, “I have to leave, this was so stupid. I just wanted my job, but now…no, no, I can’t do it like this. We can’t be together if it means we just hurt people, it’s not right Jim, it’s not okay!”

Jim reached out and took her shoulders with his hands, “Pam, listen! Yes, it was dumb, but we were drunk, I will break things off with Karen, but I am in love with you, I have been. You came here and admitted the same, before we let the vodka take over, but I can’t let you leave me.” His tears fell heavy and warm down his cheeks and the sides of his nose, “I was such an ass for just leaving, but you can’t do the same, I have been in love with you since I met you, doesn’t that mean anything?”

Pam pushed him away, her eyes red with tears, “does it? Or does it mean that you couldn’t face me again until I came to you, and you cast poor Karen aside because you got what you wanted.”

Jim fell into his easy-chair, “I’m sorry if you feel that way Pam, I know you have anger, you have a right to, but please, just talk to me.”

Pam sat on the couch and began putting her shoes on, “no, talking got us here in the first place, I just think we shouldn’t be together, I shouldn’t have listened to Larissa, we’re just not meant for each other.”

“Pam, please just listen, I knew about you and Larissa in class together, but please listen to reason…”

Pam stood up, “no, Jim, I can’t listen anymore. Maybe we have strong feelings for each other, but if us getting together means we are going to fuck over a lot of innocent people, then I’m out.”

Jim started to sob, “Beesly, please don’t leave, please, this is on me, I handled it wrong, before and now, but my love for you is real, please, you can’t leave.”

Pam grabbed her purse and ran for her car, by the time Jim got to the door, she had pulled out and sped off in her car. He immediately started calling her phone, but she wouldn’t answer.

JIM

By the time it got dark on Saturday, Jim knew he had never cried that much, or even close to that much. He had only cried one other time since high school, and that time also dealt with Pam. He stared at a dark tv screen, his phone was dead, he had left her at least twenty messages, he didn’t care if he sounded desperate, he was, completely desperate, for one night he held her in his arms, once again heard her laughter, looked in her eyes, but now she was gone, probably for good.

He got up for a drink of water, he knew he needed to hydrate, after a night of heavy drinking and day of crying, even if he didn’t feel like drinking a lot of water, his body needed it. His head was resting on the shelf in he fridge as he scanned for something remotely appetizing when his landline phone rang, it startled him enough that he bumped his head on the fridge.

Holding his head in pain, he answered, hoping but it was her, even if logic dictated it wouldn’t be. “Hello?”

“Are you okay?” Larissa’s voice sounded concerned, he didn’t even care, everyone could know, nothing mattered but getting her back.

“I’ve been better, I take it you talked with Pam.”

“Texted, she’s pretty upset, at herself too.”

“I’m so fuckin stupid, we were just talking, then emotions got very real and we drank, and drank, and then…”

“Yeah, she told me, more or less. She’s not just mad at you, she’s really mad at herself.”

Jim sat at his kitchen chair, “look, I know I fucked up, believe me, but I love her, I would commit to her forever, I want nothing else, I was stupid to get involved with Karen, she is great, but Pam…”

“Jim?”

“Sorry, never heard your big brother cry?”

“Not since mom slapped you for hiding that vhs copy of Showgirls in your room when you were in high school.”

“Thanks for kicking a guy while he’s down.”

“Listen, you might not want to hear this, but I think she’ll need space.”

Jim sighed, “yeah, okay, I can do that.”

“What are you going to do about Karen?”

Jim stared at the clock, “I need to call her, my cell is dead, I need to plug it in and call her, that will be ugly, I am sorry I hurt her, I never wanted to do that…I know this will sound very emo, but I don’t think I will ever love again, I mean, I tortured myself without having been with her for nearly six years, what’s a lifetime of misery?”

“Jim, you can’t be like that. I know this sucks, I wish I knew what to tell you what to do, if there was something you could do, she’s very upset at herself and is positive she just hurts people.”

“Yeah, that sounds like my life, one night with the woman I love, followed by heartache and tears.”

“Jim, why don’t you come home, I’ll come over and we can just hang…”

“No, I need to talk to Karen, in person. She gets home tonight, and tomorrow I’ll be busy feeling sorry for myself.”

“Jim…”

“Love you sis, bye.”

PAM

She didn’t know why, but instead of driving home, she drove straight to Penny’s, Penny was leaving her apartment to go jogging when she saw her sister.

“Pam? What’s wrong?”

Pam banged her head on the steering wheel, “everything, everything is wrong. All I do is hurt people.”

“What happened?”

“That will take a while, can we go inside.”

Twenty minutes later after a detailed breakdown of her misery, Penny wiped a tear from her eye, “Pam, you can’t hide because mistakes were made. You were both drunk, but he loves you.”

“So did Roy.”

“This is different, Roy used you, still had fun, I’m pretty sure he did more than make out with that girl, and I doubt she’s the only one.”

“I’m a whore too, breaking up Jim and Karen.”

“Pam, you two are in love, timing has sucked, but you can’t deny yourself someone who makes you happy, that’s ridiculous.”

Pam laid her head on the table and started crying again, “I can’t do it, we fucked up, we don’t deserve to have happiness. I’m serious.”

“I hope eventually you’ll change your mind, but you have to live your life sis. Does that mean you’re not taking the job?”

Pam glared at her, not only because it was a stupid question but because it also reminded her she needed a job.

JIM

“Jim? What’s up, couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“I wish, look, can you come over on your way home? I need to talk to you.”

“Sounds serious.”

“Yeah, but not phone talk.”

“Actually, I was headed to the gym, I’m in town, just feeling grubby after a wild weekend. I’ll be right over.”

Jim hated a lot of things about his current weekend, he knew this would be towards the top very soon. He brought out some cold beers. When he answered the door, he could tell she was wary about his earlier call.

“What’s up Halpert?”

“Come in, take a seat. There’s no good way to say this, Pam came over last night, we talked, but then we drank, too much, and I slept with her. I know, it was dumb, I’m sorry, but I can’t continue things with you, you deserve better.”

Karen was still, dumbstruck by Jim’s revelation, “do you love her?”

“Yes.”

“You guys are getting together then?” Her tears were starting to form and fall.

“No, she is angry at herself and me for hurting you, for hurting Roy because she broke off the wedding, so no, she and I won’t happen, but that doesn’t excuse what I did. I am sorry, you are great…fuck, I’m terrible at this.”

Karen wiped her eyes, “I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one you loved. Really sorry. Look, what you did, not cool, of course, but you also didn’t try to hide it, and you look like shit. We have to work together Jim, I’m not happy or your biggest fan, but I don’t hate you either.”

Jim tried to smile, “thanks, I don’t deserve that, this is so fucked up. Maybe she’s right, if all we do is hurt people.”

“You wanted more?”

Jim hung his head, “I was in love with her for a long time, tonight I discovered I still am, she only came over to say she was going to take the job in reception, but she’s not taking it now, so I fucked you and the company over.”

“Halpert, you fucked up, but don’t hate yourself for ever, you need to move on, I tried, I’m hot, I’m fun.”

“You are, I’m so sorry, I’ve never been this guy, ever. When she came over that wasn’t on my mind at all, vodka and emotional confessions don’t go together, nor do I and any woman apparently.”

Karen stood up and sat next to him, tears falling freely now, “here’s the thing, and maybe I’m the stupid one, but I still like you, I thought I loved you, I still do, why can’t I be the one for you?”

Jim took her hand, “Karen, that’s crazy, I’m fucked up and I hurt you, don’t hang hopes on me, I’m hopeless.”

PAM

Sunday had not been any better than Saturday, Isabelle and her mom both thought she should give Jim a chance, but she couldn’t hear that anymore. Roy came over to drop off some mail that had come for her, he asked why she was down and she told him, including when she and Jim kissed before their wedding. Roy tensed up and looked angrier than she’d ever seen him, he acted like he was going to throw something, then he turned and slapped her, the force knocked her to the floor.

“What the fuck Roy, I’m sorry, but you don’t get to do that!”

“Pammie, I’m sorry…”

“Get the fuck out, come near me again and I will report this, never come here or around me again.”

Penny and Isabelle were soon both there, Isabelle held an icepack to her cheek while Penny did report it to the police and got her friend who worked there to start the process of getting a restraining order.

The next morning, Pam felt lower than she ever had in her life, it didn’t help that she also had to go to a temp agency to find some work. She filled out the paperwork, did an interview, and the woman who talked to her administered a typing test, impressed with Pam’s work, she found her a job for the next week. As Pam left, she mumbled to herself, “yep, just a temp, in every sense of the word.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath is the worst math of all and Pam’s life gets more complicated.

PAM

Three weeks had passed since the Jim incident, that weekend was hard to forget, between her night with Jim, her explosion at Jim and then Roy hitting her, it had easily gone down as her worst weekend ever. Then adding to that, she was only a temp currently, no insurance, no time off, no sick days, only what she worked, for crappy pay.

She was thankful to have some work, she truly was, but three weeks into her job and those years with Michael and Dwight seemed like glorious ones. Dunder Mifflin could be boring, but now as she typed in yet another file, she wanted to scream. She was working at pharmacy in downtown Scranton, the oldest one in town, it was attempting to modernize and needed competent typists to do so. 

She was typing her five-hundredth file of the day, it felt like five million, she had no one to talk to except for when the ancient assistant manage Alice would walk in with more files to enter. Pam hadn’t felt well for a few days, she attributed to her stress and depression. Jim had left messages every day for the first two weeks, sent flowers, and then a week ago came the last communication. A letter, left at her door, by him. 

Beesly,

I guess I’ll take a hint and stop bothering you, just know that I am sorry, I never meant for people to get hurt, least of all you. I love you, I’ve known it for a while, my biggest regret is not telling you earlier. I hope that whatever you do and whoever you are with will bring you happiness, I wish you only the best.

Jim

The note made her angry at first, then after a few days she cried if she thought of it at her temp job or if she saw it in her apartment. Larissa would text her occasionally, Pam was glad they were friends, she liked her, Larissa said she understood both sides and that it was complicated. She did say Jim took it very hard, but that couldn’t matter to her, she had made up her mind.

As she sat at the old computer at the pharmacy in the little room in the back where she worked, she felt her stomach again, she was tired of not feeling good, and then she started laughing, she was working at a pharmacy and hadn’t even thought to get something to try and make her feel better. She reached down to her purse and tried to find her pharmacy card she had for discounts, as she rifled through the contents, she saw her emergency pack of tampons, as she thought of those she was struck with horror.

She should have had her period two to two and a half weeks ago, she was always regular like that, like clockwork. She tried to think how she hadn’t even thought of it, and then it hit her, she had been so stressed and depressed she had barely noticed anything. As another realization hit her, she started counting with her fingers, fuck, her stomach had been acting different the past week, some throwing up, but she thought it was stress, she stood up quickly and walked to the aisle with birth control and pregnancy tests. She grabbed two different ones and went to the self-checkout lane, she scanned her card, scanned the items, paid, bagged her items carefully to hide the contents and rushed to the bathroom. She realized she was crying quietly when she did the first brand, she didn’t want to look, but she had to. Positive.

She quickly fumbled the second one open, trembling now, as she waited for the results of the second test, her thoughts were not of the baby that could be coming, but to the father. He would want to be involved, it was Jim, he would want to be with her, she closed her eyes and tried to steady her nerves. She finally mustered the courage to look at the second test, positive.

She didn’t know what to do, she was pregnant, she pregnant with the child of man she loved but had convinced herself she couldn’t be with. The questions then started popping through her mind as her fingers typed in the mindless data, should this change anything? Does he get to have me because I got pregnant? Can I handle being a mother?

As she finished her shift, she said goodbye to the few people she actually talked to there and went home, as she pulled up to her apartment she thought of the day she had waited for Jim. She had been excited to tell him, then she did, then they got drunk and slept together, as time had passed since that night, her recollections had become clearer, she knew she initiated things. She sighed, she thought she was doing the right thing, trying to not hurt people, trying to hold herself to some sort of standard, but was it worth it? Wasn’t he sorry? 

She sat down on her couch and just held the remote in her hand, she didn’t know how long she’d just been sitting there with he damn thing in her hand when she started thinking of what she would have to do to have the baby, after having the baby, alone, with only a temp job. It was too much, it was too much, the tears started as visions of her homeless with a child or living at home with her parents, trying to raise a child amid the arguing and chaos.

Tired of torturing herself with her thoughts and depressing scenarios, she grabbed her laptop and started looking up government programs for pregnant women with no insurance, as she scanned the websites and information, she felt worse. She held her breath as she moved the cursor to the search engine box, she typed in the word that had been in her mind, as she saw the sites and facts pop up, she closed her eyes and wished she knew what to do. Opening her eyes once more, she read about options in Pennsylvania if she were to abort her pregnancy, she felt so helpless, that was not the road she wanted to take but she felt so alone and without options.

At some point in her session of obsessing and imagining worst case scenarios, she fell asleep. Her dreams were filled with crying babies and judgmental looks of family members and ex-coworkers. When she woke up she was already crying, her dreams serving as a reminder of all of her fears. 

Saturday morning, Pam woke up feeling worse than the night before, as she ran in the bathroom for first vomiting session, she wondered again if she was strong enough to go through this alone. With every scenario she allowed to play out in her mind, each time Jim was pushed further and further out of the picture to where she didn’t think of him as an option now, she had made up her mind as far as he was concerned. She knew she needed to get out of the apartment, she would only drive herself crazy.

As she drove around thinking of where she could go and what she could do to eat up some time today, she kept seeing children. First as she drove by the park close to her place, there was a young father pushing his son on the swings, then she saw the mother jogging with her baby in a stroller, then a little girl swinging on the arms of her parents as she walked in the mini-mart to get coffee. Maybe it was a sign, maybe, but how would it all work out?

JIM

When he first moved to Stamford, he had slept very little, the transition was hard, then after meeting Karen, things improved. Jim was now in a worse stage, he didn’t sleep at all, unless he passed out from sheer exhaustion. He was nervous and fidgety because he was drinking so much caffeine to stay awake and alert at work.

Work was still good, but every time he saw Karen he was reminded of his mistakes, and of Pam. Karen and he remained on friendly terms, but she was pressing him to get back together. Part of him was tempted, he liked Karen, in no uncertain terms, but she wasn’t Pam, he loved Pam and after the disaster that was his night and morning after with her, he couldn’t drag anyone, especially Karen again, through the hell that was his confusion and love for Pam Beesly.

On Dwight’s Friday visits to the office, he would take Jim out for sushi and try and cheer him up. The first Friday after the incident, they went paintballing after work Jim felt better for a little while, it was good to get out some aggression, but the Saturday and Sunday that followed were miserable. The second Friday outing they went to karaoke bar where Dwight cracked him up trying his best to sing some metal songs, his version of Enter Sandman by Metallica was the highlight of the night, but his Saturday and Sunday were again miserable and taking a toll on his sanity. After karaoke, he had driven to Pam’s in the middle of the night as he couldn’t sleep and left her a not, promising to leave her alone, he hated to do it, but he needed to stop calling her and sending things, it was wearing on him.

After he stopped with the calls and hardcore obsessing, he began sleeping a little more, four to five hours was a lot better than one or zero hours sleep. He felt skinnier as well, which he was sensitive about normally, but right now, he just didn’t care.

Jim was sitting in his office writing up a rough draft of sales incentive program corporate asked him to create, the door swung open and Dwight was holding a picture. Jim squinted to see what it was, it looked like a shooting range. “Okay, I give Dwight, is that a shooting range?”

Dwight nodded emphatically, “oh yeah, you know it is, we are leaving early, you and I, Karen will handle things, and the two of us will go to the State shooting range in Wilkes-Barre.”

Jim sighed and moved uncomfortably in his chair, “I don’t know man, a shooting range?”

Dwight stepped right up to the edge of his desk, “James, you have to trust me, as your official new best friend, I know what’s best, was I wrong about paintball or karaoke?”

Jim grinned, “no, I suppose not, but me shooting a real gun?”

Dwight groaned, “c’mon Jim, don’t be a Toby, man up and let’s enjoy some manly urges, it helps fight the blues, trust me. I’ve been having lady issues lately, my girlfriend has a new job and she talks constantly about this guy in her office who has similar interests, which by the way is cats, what kind of man likes cats?”

Jim’s head popped up as he made the connection, “holy shit, Dwight, you’re girlfriend is Angela, Pam and I were right!”

Dwight went red with embarrassment, “yeah, it took you long enough, she’s crazy about secrecy, too much so. I understand not wanting people to pry, but there comes a point where you’re just ashamed of me.”

“Wow, you and Angela. I can’t believe it took me this long, she lost her job, likes cats, likes secrecy, damn I’m slow.”

Dwight grinned, “I really thought I’d made it obvious, but you’re not as oblivious as Michael was, oh, and I ran into Phyllis, I heard Michael is currently working at a jewelry store and Men’s Warehouse to make ends meet. How crazy is that?”

Jim laughed softly, “that’s pretty crazy. That’s got to be tough, going from manager to selling rings and suits.”

“As crazy a slow and terrible accountant opening up a strip club?” 

Jim slammed his hand down on his desk, “no way, c’mon, really? Kevin, a strip club?”

Dwight nodded while smiling his I know stuff face that Jim used to find annoying but now found amusing, “oh yeah, it gets better, Angela works for an investment firm and her boss is investing in this club, big time. I don’t see good things happening.”

Jim shook his head, no, it can’t possibly go well, for anyone, although if Michael never got slapped with a sexual harassment suit, maybe Kevin will get lucky too.”

Jim had to shake his head in disbelief as he stood at the shooting range, one stall over from Dwight who was singing so loudly that Jim heard him through his ear protection. Dwight had showed him the stance and how to properly hold the gun to compensate for kick back and how to aim properly. Jim had never been a gun guy, he probably never would be, but this did feel good, just firing off some shots, shooting at something, doing anything to not be in his apartment drowning in his own misery and stupidity.

When his target came back to him, Jim laughed, three shots hit the black circle, the outside of it, and three were at the edge of the target paper. Dwight slapped him on the back, “not bad for the first time. I took Michael here once and he shot the wrong target, on both sides.”

“Wow, that is bad. How’d you do?”

Dwight grinned and pulled out his target with a nice grouping near the center of the target. “This is one of my best, if I’m really stressed out I pull to the left, so this is good, especially considering the stress I feel right now.”

Jim shook his head, “sorry Dwight, I’m a crappy friend, I just focus on my shit, as normal. What’s going on with Angela and I’m guessing Mose.”

“Angela just talks about Gregory from her new office all the time, the cat freak. He has five cats, a grown man who lives alone and has five cats. I thought he might be gay, but Oscar actually knew him from Scranton and says while he gives off that vibe, he is in fact hetero.”

“Yikes, two cat enthusiasts, that would be frightening scenario.”

Dwight nodded, “for sure, and Mose, well he has taken to trying to convert the farm to a pot farm, I think my stupid brother gave him the idea. Idiot. I’m thinking of selling to Mose, I love my land, but I’ve done really well this quarter, better than ever and I’m thinking of moving to Stamford.”

“Wow, that’d be great, but don’t sell your place unless you’re sure, that’s your heritage, you love that place.”

“Yeah, but lately, I have to work at home and Mose doesn’t understand the internet and has somehow disabled it several times and don’t get me started on the weird porn he looks at, it’s frightening.”

“I will not get you started, I can’t imagine and don’t want to. Hey, thanks man.”

“For what?” 

Jim smiled and slapped him on the shoulder, “for being my friend, it was weird to begin with, but you’ve been here for me when I need it most.”

Dwight gave a small sincere smile, the face he normally made when he was genuinely praised and felt embarrassed by it, “it’s been good Halpert, my normal friend are not normal friends, Michael was a selfish nightmare, and my cousins are odd, and that’s being really nice. You give good advice, don’t make fun me a ton for my hobbies, I mean, that’s much better than what I’ve had in the past.”

After the shooting range, the two friends were eating at the Cracker Barrell, Dwight loved their portions and prices, Dwight was in the middle of telling Jim about bow hunting when Jim heard his name called, he turned to see Darrell from the warehouse. 

“Jim, Dwight, what’s up, I heard you worked in Connecticut.”

“Yeah, we left early to go shooting, good stress relief.”

“Hey, just a heads up, Roy hates you, he heard you and Pam kissed at work a while back, he and I were good friends, hung out, but then he hit Pam.”

Jim felt his blood boil, “what? When?”

“Lemme see, about three weeks ago. She wasn’t going to call the cops, but her sister did, her sister is friends with my cousin, he’s a cop, he helped her fill out the paper work for a restraining order. I had to fire Roy because he wouldn’t stop raging out. Just be careful man, he’s a psycho now. I gotta run, I’m here with my daughter and my aunt, she let’s Jada have way too much sugar.”

“I can’t fucking believe it.” Jim was on his phone texting his sister, asking her if she knew about it.”

His phone chimed, she replied, “yes, but was sworn to secrecy, she’s okay in that regard.”

Dwight had a scowl on his face, “we should go teach that lummox a lesson, you can’t hit Pam, what an ass.”

Jim was quiet, he was trying to calm the rage he felt, going and starting a fight with Roy would not help anyone, it wouldn’t take away Pam’s pain, it wouldn’t help him in the long run. “Yeah, I want to, but I can’t, I have to respect Pam’s privacy and space, I have to. It at least gives me some hope that someday she might…”

“I get it, you’re right. At least he got fired and has a police file now. I’ve always liked Darrell, but Roy has always seemed stupid and overly jockish to me.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Dwight took a sip of his water, “weren’t you a jock in high school?”

“I played basketball, I was pretty good, the team was good, but I never liked those people. A few guys on the team were friends, but overall, no, I hated that mindset, I hate people who think they’re cool and that putting a ball through a hoop makes you better than someone or that someone who is different and smart isn’t cool, I’ll never know what Roy and Pam saw in each other. She’s kind of dorky, in a very adorable way.”

“Remember when Michael thought he was good at basketball and lost us the game? Roy was an ass that day too.”

“Yeah, I got hammered that night trying to figure out why she liked him, that was a rough night, but seems like good times compared to recently.”

Dwight nodded as he ate some fries, “yeah, it can’t be fun. I’m not looking forward to things ending with Angela, but it doesn’t look great. She’s still mad I refused to take care of her cats while she went on vacation. They would have gotten destroyed at my farm. There’s a raccoon that has attacked Mose a couple of times, I’ve never been able to get a good shot at him, plus he scares the other critters from coming in, so he’s handy too.”

“Dwight, do you mind if I crash at your place tonight? I don’t want to drive back tonight…”

“Of course, just be aware, it’s a little creepy, it’s very old school Schrute.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

Schrute Farms was a wild ride, Mose woke them up in the middle of the night trying to get the goats to fight each other, Dwight explained Mose thought it was money making opportunity. Breakfast was a hardy helping of meats. The late morning was spent shooting Dwight’s bow and arrows at hay bales. Jim had to admit it though, Dwight knew how to blow off steam and have fun. 

Jim pulled away from Schrute Farms about two o clock, he was about to turn his car and head back to Stamford, but without thinking, he drove to Pam’s place. As he pulled up, he searched for a pad of paper and pen. He wrote her a note, even though he had told her last week on a drive while suffering insomnia, that would leave her alone, he had to say something.

Beesly,

Sorry to break my promise, but I ran into Darrell yesterday, he told me about the Roy thing. I’m so sorry, I know I caused part of that, you deserve so much better and I truly hope you find it.

If loving you means leaving you alone, I will try to do it, but my mind keeps messing with me, making me think of all the good times we’ve had, it’s not easy.

Love,

Jim


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim finds out Pam’s secret and they try to figure things out.

JIM

Mondays were normally boring days, everyone trying to focus and convince themselves they could push through another week of selling paper, but today had been insane. Andy got taken off reception and given a final warning for his temper, Ryan volunteered to do it until they could find a suitable replacement, and Hannah slapped Creed for sending pictures of her left breast over the internet while she was breastfeeding.

Laura, the HR representative had to write up Creed, which he bitched about most of the morning. Jim was hoping for a quieter afternoon when Ryan buzzed him.

“Jan Levinson on line one.”

Jim sighed, something he realized he did a lot lately, “thanks man, put her through.”

“Hey Jan.”

“Hi Jim, listen, we would like you to go make the hard sell to Pam Beesly, she ran the office well, and that was with Michael screwing things up.”

“Yeah, about that, listen, Pam and I have a history, I don’t know if I’d be the best person. We sort of hooked up a while back, the truth is I’ve like her for a long time, but we were talking, then got drunk, and now she won’t speak to me because I was dating someone when it happened. So….”

“Listen, we’ve all made drunken mistakes, believe me, I’ve made many, but we need her. Do whatever it takes, ten thousand in moving costs, fifteen hundred a month raise, and an extra week vacation, also don’t forget that she can have the good medical coverage corporate and branch managers get.”

Jim closed his eyes in resignation, “fine, I’ll do it. I’ll take off now, I thinks she’s working as a temp, so I might be able to catch her on her lunch and not disrupt her day entirely.”

“Thank you, Jim, you’re doing great and for what it’s worth, even Wallace thought she liked you.”

Jim shook his head in disbelief. “Awesome, thanks Jan.”

After the call, he had to talk with Karen before leaving, she had been more than reasonable with Jim, she was still kind and they still talked, he hated that he didn’t feel what she did, but he was through hurting people.

“He Filipelli, I get to leave and do something excruciating.”

Karen looked up from her computer, “please tell me it’s getting anyone other than Andy or Ryan to work reception, Ryan has asked me out four times a day at least since you kicked me to the curb.”

“Yeah, more awesomeness as a result of my awesomeness, go Halpert.”

“Hey, don’t be that hard on yourself. I understand, believe me, we don’t’ get to choose who we fall in love with, it doesn’t seem fair, but it’s true.”

Jim nodded hating that he had hurt, while he didn’t love her, she was important to him, “and adding to that theme, guess who I get to go give the hard sell to as Jan put it and convince to come work here.”

“Oh shit, Pam?”

Jim offered a fake smile, “oh yeah, I get to go and try convince someone who hates me to come work with me, what could be better?”

He was thirty minutes into his drive when his cell rang, “hello?”

Moaning came from the other end of the phone, he could tell it was Dwight. “Dwight, what happened? Mose or Angela?”

“Angela, she did it, we’re done.” His sentence was followed by more moaning.

“Shit, that sucks. Guess what though, I’m driving to Scranton to give Pam the hard sell to come work for me here, as commanded by corporate, so at least we’re both in hell.”

“Yay for us.”

“Yeah, yay for us.”

“You want a roommate?”

“Why, are you kicking Mose out?”

“No, I’m selling, I need a change. I’ll buy some land or a building in Stamford to lease out and just rent a small place for now.”

“You are welcome to move in, if you think we won’t drive each other crazy, I can be a slob.”

“Yeah, well you don’t have a freaky relationship with scarecrows and you didn’t break up with me, so I’ll take that.”

“Alright, I guess we can be roommates then, misery does love company.”

“It also loves vodka, lots of vodka.”

“Don’t do that, my last time with vodka got me where I am today, and it is not good. Let’s go out to dinner, you choose the place, I’ll pay.”

“Cracker Barrell it is, I never went there with Angela and they’re used to pathetic people crying.”

“I look forward to a pathetic meal with pathetic people.”

“Call me when you’re done with Pam, so I can look presentable, it’s been a rough eighteen hours since she drop-kicked my heart.”

Before leaving, Jim had texted Larissa to find out where Pam was working, telling her it was work related and the last thing he wanted to do. She reluctantly told him and wished him luck. There was accident right outside of Scranton on the highway, so as he drove up to the pharmacy, he saw Pam walking out for lunch.

He quickly parked, paying the meter and then jogged after her, he though she would go a few doors further down to the Mexican café, but she instead turned in the baby clothing store, Small Frye’s Boutique. Jim paused to catch his breath outside the boutique, he was breathing hard from his jog, she had gotten a sizeable lead on him.

As he stood panting, he could hear Pam talking to the woman at the counter, the door was open since it was an unusually warmish day, even though it was February. The woman asked Pam if she was buying for a friend and Pam started crying, and through her crying blurted out that no, she was shopping for herself.

The words struck Jim like a baseball bat across the face, she was pregnant? He knew it was him, Pam wasn’t a player and she wouldn’t have done it again with Roy, he hoped, but pregnant? How could she not tell him?

He let her calm down and then straightened out his shirt and pants and walked into the boutique, he wanted to stay professional, but it was going to be really difficult.

“Jim, what the hell?”

Jim held up his hands in surrender, “don’t blame me, Jan sent me, believe me, I told her everything and she still wanted me to come and try to talk you into it. Can the company buy you lunch while I make a job offer, better than the pharmacy.”

She let out a long breath, “fine, let’s do this, I was just looking for a present for a friend, she’s having a baby.”

Jim swallowed, his mouth suddenly parched, “cool, yeah, I get it.”

They started out with very small talk, Jim filled her in on Dwight and Angela, Pam knew they were dating but was surprised they were breaking up. Jim figured he better hurry with the sales pitch before telling her he knew she was pregnant.

“So, I know how you feel about me, believe me, but the job, ten thousand to move, fifteen hundred a month raise, and the same health plan they get at corporate, they are desperate. I’m sorry I’ve ruined this offer for you, but I promised Jan I’d try.”

“Man, I could use that…the money.”

Jim felt himself losing the will to play dumb anymore, “not the healthcare? For say, um…”

Pam stared at him, “what do you know and how?”

“I know you’re pregnant, and I know it’s mine, don’t ask me how I know that part, but I’m still certain, I had to run to catch up with you, so I was outside panting like an out of shape person and with the door open, I heard.”

Pam looked at him, it was a hard look, he had never experienced a look like that from her, “I expect nothing from you, okay? Nothing.”

Jim wanted to scream or cry or anything, she had to understand how desperately he wanted to show her he loved her and be a part of her life, “Beesly, I will give you whatever you need or want and more, I will of course do my part, I want to do my part, I would never leave you alone in this. Here’s the thing though, I have told you in no uncertain terms that I am crazy in love with you, you have told me you love me, so why not give the kid a fighting chance with two parents who love each other, together?”

Pam pushed her plate forward, “because we’re done Jim, we never were. We had one night.”

“No Pam, don’t do this, don’t push me all the way away, we had five amazing years as friends, the best years of my life even though I suffered because I couldn’t be with you, I wouldn’t trade them for anything.”

“I’m sorry Jim, I just can’t. Please…”

Jim fought as hard as he could to keep his emotions under control, only Beesly could do this to him, “let me ask you one question, and answer honestly, because it is all that matters.”

“Fine, ask.” She looked away from him, obviously dealing with her own emotions.

“Do you love me?”

“Jim, it doesn’t matter…”

“No, to hell with that, it’s all that matters, if you love me, then you will let me into your life, not in little chunks, not for one night, but into your life so we can see if we work together, as us. You say you love me, but you have never tried this, us.”

“I need to go, I have to work, I’ll call you later with details of appointments and stuff, so you can be involved.” She left him crying over Mexican food, he was surprised the staff could understand him. The walk to his car calmed him down, Jim sat in the driver’s seat and stared at his phone. He left Pam a message and then called Dwight.

“You hungry already?”

“Man, you have no idea, I just sat at a restaurant and ate nothing, big stuff to tell, big. Why don’t I pick you up?”

Jim was thankful Dwight was always prompt, he was waiting on his porch as Jim drove up, Dwight hopped in the car and immediately put on some heavy metal music, Jim could only laugh.

“Sorry, you look like some angry music might help, not a woman trying to get in touch with her touchy side. But seriously, what did she say? You look like she kicked the emotional shit out of you, hard.”

Jim had to steady his breathing, “well, you have to promise to tell no one, it’s crazy you’re the only one I’m telling.”

Dwight held up his hand, “an oath of secrecy, you know me Jim, my good, my bad, this will go with me to the grave.”

“Luckily it won’t have go that far, Pam’s pregnant, it’s mine, she still wants very little to do with me.”

Dwight’s jaw dropped open, an awkward silence followed, he tried to start talking a few times, but only stammered.

“Yep, that’s how I feel. The woman I love is pregnant, with my child, but wants nothing to do with me. I feel like Michael at the firing range, I’m getting shots off but they’re all hitting in the wrong places. I wanted to be with her, I was, but for one night that ruined things. I would love to raise a family with her, I will, but she wants to do it on her own.”

“Don’t let my ex know, she’ll judge the hell out of her, I loved her, but man, she makes me look like a wuss when it comes to judging people. We obviously had sexual intercourse, obviously, but she would still make comments about others doing the same thing, it was like they were going to hell, but she was fine. I bit my tongue so much it nearly put a hole in it.”

“Thanks for this, being my friend and all that. I wouldn’t know where to turn today.”

“Hey, you’re taking me out because my ass got dumped, so thank you, but a sincere one, I felt like Andy the way I said it, that guy’s the worst.”

“He is the worst.”

PAM

If it weren’t for the fact that she was definitely pregnant and had a child on the way, she would have stayed in bed, but she needed money, she had no insurance, so work was a necessity. Her body ached as she got out of bed, she got up early so she could shower, but her feet already hurt so she settled for a bath. As she sunk down into the hot water, she couldn’t get him out of her mind, despite all of the anger she felt, that night was amazing, physically, the moments at least. The way it was done and the fact that it hurt people, she hated that, but she couldn’t get certain images and memories out of her mind. The way it felt to have him hold her, the way he tenderly kissed her entire body, the way he felt inside her. Roy had once joked without knowing she and Jim were truly so close that he was probably gay with a small dick, which Pam found humorous because even though he was the only man she’d ever been with, she knew he wasn’t packing much.

Jim though, it was surprising someone so skinny was hiding that, as she remembered the best moments of that night, her fingers found her center once again, she needed to feel something, anything, even if it was wrong to get off to the memory of the man she was pushing away. Her fingers worked faster and faster until her legs shot forward, sloshing water over the side of the tub, but instead of the satisfaction she normally felt after this, she felt sadness, loss, absence.

Once she was dressed she ate some toast and drove to work, she didn’t hate this job, but it was boring and the pay barely covered her apartment. She needed something better, but she didn’t want to work with Jim, it wouldn’t work out, it just wouldn’t.

The morning was painfully slow, she entered in a mountain of forms and information, her fingers clicking along the keyboard without much thought. During her first break she looked up good doctors in the area who would work non-insured women, as if that wasn’t depressing enough, she then had to apply for welfare and try to figure something out, this baby deserved a fighting chance.

After her break, she felt nauseated, but snacking on a single saltine put it at bay enough to keep working. She thought of the note Jim had left Saturday, she knew he must want to kill Roy, but he did his part to keep cool about things. She hated that he had communicated with her, he wasn’t making it easier on her, but he seemed to have good intentions.

When lunchtime rolled around, she sighed, she wasn’t really hungry, she wanted to walk a little, it was good for her circulation and the baby. She finally decided to go check out the baby boutique down the street from the pharmacy, looking at baby clothing was one of the fun parts about being pregnant, right?

As soon as she walked in and was greeted by the nice shop owner, she started to lose it, the woman had only asked her if she was shopping for a friend when the reality hit her and she let loose how she felt, the baby was hers, she was alone, that was the truth.

Walking around the store calmed her down, she started to feel better when she saw him, the last person she wanted to see in the last place she wanted to see him. As soon as she laid eyes on him she knew he must have already known she was pregnant, she just didn’t know how.

Sitting in the Mexican café, she couldn’t stop second guessing herself, whey was she so insistent on denying him, he was offering her a job, a great job. Every time she looked at Jim she felt something, the problem was everything that had happened, the way they had hurt people. 

She listened to everything he had to say, unsurprised when he told her he knew she was pregnant, though she was surprised how he found out. His look of profound hurt and love upset her, she didn’t know why, she felt determined to do this without him, he wasn’t part of it. As she let the acidic words slip of her tongue she hated the reaction on Jim’s face, in his countenance, but the words kept coming, the words that cut him, that pushed him away.

Jim’s promise to everything he could for the baby nearly undid her, they were almost enough to deter her from her plan, but this isn’t how people in love get together or start a happy family. True love didn’t start with hurt and lies, not getting pregnant while you cheat on your girlfriend in a drunken stupor.

His next words nearly destroyed her, knowing what would follow, “let me ask you one question, and answer honestly, because it is all that matters.”

“Fine, ask.” She looked away from him, fighting with everything she had to bury her love for him.

“Do you love me?”

“Jim, it doesn’t matter…” In her head she screamed liar to herself, she knew this was a lie, it did matter, but everything was wrong, everything.

“No, to hell with that, it’s all that matters, if you love me, then you will let me into your life, not in little chunks, not for one night, but into your life so we can see if we work together, as us. You say you love me, but you have never tried this, us.” His candor and passion moved her, they did, but what did it matter? 

“I need to go, I have to work, I’ll call you later with details of appointments and stuff so you can be involved.” Her legs couldn’t take her out of the café fast enough, she knew he was crying, she could hear his heavy breathing. She waited until she was in her car, driving away from the café before she released her tears, it physically hurt her as she cried. When she finally pulled into her apartment, her face felt red, she knew she couldn’t be a pretty sight right then.

The light was flashing on her answering machine, she pushed the button afraid of what she might hear.

“Pam, this is your sister, call me, you haven’t answered my calls the past few days!”

Beep

“Pam, Roy, I’m sorry, so sorry, it’s just I pictured you guys, but I get it. If you could please call me…”

Beep

“Pam, I know you don’t believe we can be together, I understand your reasoning, I just know I love you, I love our baby, with all my heart, I am nervous, terrified even of being a father, but knowing that this baby will be the best of both of us, it makes me happy. I need to know what you need, if you don’t want me around for appointments, I won’t be there, I want to be, but I want to respect what you want Pam, I want you to be happy, I truly do. I know this baby isn’t what you had planned, but I’ve always thought you’d be a cool mom, a fun mom. I remember you on bring your daughter to work day, I saw it in you. Please don’t let what’s happened ruin all this for you, I hope we can work together to raise him or her, you are not in this alone, no matter what our status is, I am here to help you, also, despite how you feel about me, please consider taking the job in Stamford, full medical, that could helpful for something coming up in say nine or so months. Again, I’m her for you, please don’t push me away, regardless of us, we are going to be parents, don’t do it alone, okay, I’ve rambled, bye.”

Beep


	9. Confusion and decisions

PAM

Breathing in and out the paper bag wasn’t doing her any good, she still felt like she was having a panic attack, only now her face felt hot. There was a knock on the door, it had to be Penny, she texted her telling she really needed to see her, Pam opened the door and Penny laughed when she saw Pam breathing in and out of the paper bag.

“Pam, what’s up? Beside your heart rate apparently.”

“Shut up, today was terrible, this weekend sucked.”

“Please tell me Roy didn’t come around.”

“No, of course not, he did leave a message today, but that’s not why I’m upset. Okay, here goes, I’m pregnant.”

Silence, followed by Penny closing her eyes, “no way, pregnant? And Jim’s?” Pam nodded through her now flowing tears. “Pam, have you told him?” Pam nodded again, “okay, was he mean about it, or angry?” She shook her head emphatically. “Pam, access your words, I need you to talk to me.”

Pam took a deep breath, “he came to offer me a job at his branch again, he was told to by corporate, but then he saw me looking at baby clothing. He offered me the job then told me he knew, I got mad, he wanted me to be with again, he told me that because we did love each other, we owed it to ourselves and the baby to try, not for a night, not casually, but try. I left after that,” she took a few more big breaths, “When I got home he left me a message telling me not to shut him out and that he would do anything he could to help out, that we were in this together, that I wasn’t alone.”

Penny just nodded for a bit trying to figure what to say in reply, “That’s nice, right? Pam, I know you are angry with him, yes, it was wrong he was with his girlfriend, I agree, I just think you might consider letting him into your life, more, he is going to be the father of your baby.”

Pam closed her eyes as she considered her words, “I know, I know. I should, I need to. But I’m worried Penny.”

Penny put her arm around her sister trying to comfort her despite not understanding her fears with this man she obviously loved, “of what Pam, happiness?”

Pam shook her head sadly, “no, not of that, but of who he and I become when we want to be together, we cast aside people and hurt them to be together.”

“Pam, not this again, you may have hurt Roy, but you know my feelings about that especially after what the creep did to you, and what about what Jim has done? Was he supposed to never say anything to you, to bury the feelings so deep down they eventually destroyed him? Was he supposed to stay with Karen and hurt her more by not truly loving her? That would be worse, things weren’t smooth, they weren’t ideal, but why should two people who love each other be so damn miserable apart?”

“I just don’t know Penny, I thought I knew him, but the whole business with him just leaving, he just left, and then he just cast Karen aside, what does that say about him?”

Penny exhaled sharply, then softened as she looked at her miserable sister, “It says he’s not perfect, it says he was confused because he was in love with someone who wasn’t sure she could do anything about her love. It says he was hurt, and it says tried to move on from you, but couldn’t. Pam, I’ve never seen something like this, I truly think he would just sit back and watch you be happy, he would be miserable to not have you with him, but he would also be content that you were still in his life again and happy yourself.”

“That sounds like a leap, I mean come on, he fled so fast after I told him I didn’t love him and then did nothing after I broke it off with Roy. Then we fucked, we fucked Penny, while he had a girlfriend.”

Penny sighed, “I talked with his sister, after we met at that bar a few weeks ago, you left early because you had to work, she and I talked for a while after. We both thought it was sad you two couldn’t be together. I said it was sad because you can’t forgive Jim, she thought it was sad because she doubts he’ll ever get over you.”

“So, I should get together with him because he can’t get over me? Roy’s the same way.”

Penny rolled her eyes, “no, first, Jim would never hit you, and it’s so different, it’s different because Jim has been there for you when that Neanderthal couldn’t be bothered, not to mention all the times when he made you happy. I don’t know if you would have stayed with Roy if not for Jim making you happy those years at that shitty job, he saved you, in a lot of ways. Roy did nothing, he used you and abused you. That’s why it’s different.”

“Fine, you don’t agree with me, that’s fine, but I need you to stop pressing me, I’ve made my decision.”

Penny stood up, “Pam, I love you, I will always support you, but it’s hard to support you when your decision doesn’t make you happy.”

The next week was miserable, she hated her job, she needed money and insurance, yet she still couldn’t imagine going to Stamford now, she had to stand her ground, she had decided and everyone else needed to understand that. When quitting time on Friday afternoon finally came, she sighed as she wanted to stop entering data, but she didn’t really want to go home, be alone, and keep being alone. She was feeling more and more lonely after her disagreement with Penny about Jim, but worse, was wondering if she was just being stubborn, had she not changed at all since everything that had happened since the night Jim kissed her back in Scranton?”

JIM

Saturday morning, Jim woke up at Schrute farms with a hangover, his body ached, he knew he had to have thrown up, but didn’t remember doing it. Dwight looked just as bad, “Halpert, what the hell were we thinking? Drinking together after being rejected by women, stupid.”

Jim burped and thought he might vomit for a second, “agreed.”

“So, can I move in?”

Jim looked at him in confusion, “really? You’d sell Schrute Farms.”

“I’m renting it out, Mose’s mom, my aunt Lavina gave Mose the money, for a three-year rental, which is good, he can worry about the crops. I make four thousand dollars a month doing nothing, and they’re old school, she paid cash for the whole three years. I need space between me and Scranton right now.”

“Holy shit, I get that, and yeah, you can move in, when?”

Dwight took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, “actually, today. Let’s get away from misery, eh?”

“Can you be ready to move?”

“Jim, Jim, Jim, it’s me, I don’t have that much to move, plus ever since the Cuban missile crisis, the Schrute’s have practiced for every emergency mishap, so I can have everything I’m taking packed and moved into your place in four hours. Oh yeah, what’s the rent?”

“I pay eight hundred a month.” 

“Nice, cheap, I love what a weak economy does for me.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Sunday morning Jim woke up to a new roommate making a huge breakfast and cranking heavy metal. Jim laughed at himself, a year ago he would have thought this was a nightmare but with what they had gone through together, Dwight was his closest friend, someone must have traveled back in time and stepped on bug or something. 

“Morning Jim, I’m making breakfast, the key to getting over a woman is indulging in every other part of your life. Drink more, eat more, watch more tv, the things that matter now.”

Jim nodded and poured himself some coffee, as he ate breakfast Dwight sang along to his music and drummed with a spoon and knife. Having a roommate would be good distracting him from everything else, he laughed at the irony of everything again, Dwight was his friend and Pam hated him, “Dwight, do you think the universe requires balance? You know, things were going too well, so they had to balance, both of us, I mean, we’re killing it at work, we’re friends, but then our love lives go to shit. I normally don’t buy into this stuff at all, but it’s hard not to right now.”

Dwight nodded, I know people think I’m crazy, but I study religions, especially eastern religion and wisdom, I know a lot about Hinduism Buddhism, Sikhism, the Ba’ Hai faith, and a lot of what these teach is a balance in all things, so I don’t know, maybe, I also go back to when my little sister said she cursed me, at times like this I just blame her.”

Jim laughed, “that’s good, I blame my older brothers for a lot, but they’re still asshats.”

They were interrupted by the landline phone ringing, “hello?”

“Jim, this is Jan, we have some shuffling going on. We fired Craig from Ithaca for obvious reasons and Karen has been promoted and will take that job, leaving you in need of a number two there.”

“Wow, that’s a lot, but the number two is easy, Dwight Schrute has moved to Stamford and will work from the office, he is the best salesman and the only one for the job.”

“You want Dwight? Michael said that he…”

“Jan, Michael said a lot, but he was unfair to Dwight, I really do think he’s the most qualified to assistan manager and I will train him and make sure any problems that happened at Scranton won’t happen here.”

Dwight had dropped his bowl and gave a thumbs up and then hugged him while mouthing “thank you.”

While Jim tried to wriggle out of Dwight’s hug and forced himself to not laugh, he still had to listen to Jan, “If that’s what you want, we’ll okay it, but there’s one more thing, you have to fire Andy. He tried to form a coup yesterday at the office, Oscar locked him in the bathroom until he calmed down, I need you to do that today.”

“Wow, this is crazy, but of course. I’ll go over with Dwight, Andy is not stable.”

“Good luck.”

Jim hung up and Dwight stopped dancing, “where are we going, please say to fire Andy.”

“Yep, assistant regional manager, time to earn our money.”

Dwight started to cry, “assistant regional manager, not assistant to…”

“Dwight, you’re the best salesman, you’ve more than proven you love this company and the most important thing to me, I can trust you, you’ve saved my sanity, I should be freaking out more, I’m going to be a dad and the woman I’ve known I’ve loved for five years won’t talk to me even though she’s pregnant with my child, yet, I have a friend that moved in, made me breakfast, and threatens my enemies, that’s a man I need as assistant regional manager, not my assistant but a partner, that’s how Josh did it, that’s how I did it with Karen, if Michael was here he’d say that’s what she said.”

Dwight and Jim both felt nervous while standing outside Andy’s apartment, it was a luxury apartment in a nice building, Jim knocked, “Tuna, Schrute, why are you guys here, I hope it’s to apologize for Oscar locking me in the bathroom.”

“No, Andy, we’re here to let you go. You tried to take over the office, you told Karen she was fired.”

Andy started to look agitated, “She did get called to New York.”

Jim shook his head at how unbelievable Andy was, “that’s because she will be regional manager in Ithaca, you also told David Wallace you would harm his children if you didn’t get the job of manager soon, and that was a few weeks ago.”

“I’ll sue.”

Dwight had enough, “really, crying to mommy and daddy, Andy, you’re pathetic, you’re not at Cornell, I didn’t go to college and I outsell you every day, true story, I sold what you did last year in an hour, an hour. If you come in, we will file a restraining order, if you sue, we will release your infractions to the public and all potential employers, they won’t like seeing that you broke a copy machine in a tantrum, and mommy and daddy trust fund would see that.”

“Fine, I’m done, I hope your company fails.” The door slammed in their faces and they stood still, Jim started to chuckle a little, Dwight looked at him and began laughing as well, as they exited the building they could barely walk straight from laughing so hard.

Had Jim given thought to Karen leaving, he may have dreaded the coming week, however with Pam and his upcoming child on his mind and Dwight to distract him, he hadn’t thought about it once. When he walked in the office on Monday, there was a festive atmosphere, Ryan was happy at reception because Andy wouldn’t try to challenge him on Cornell trivia all day, and everyone else was celebrating Karen’s promotion.

He and Karen talked some, he congratulated her, and they went about business as normal, she was leaving at the end of the week. He spent much of the week training Dwight in his new position and what he had to do if Jim was gone. Jim enjoyed their new dynamic, Jim wasn’t as sarcastic, and Dwight didn’t suspect everything Jim did, it went well. Dwight wasn’t as power hungry as he had been, getting away from Michael and probably now Angela had been amazing for his view on managerial styles.

Friday morning, Jim was filling out the corporate paper work for firing Andy when he heard a light tapping on his door, “Halpert, do you have a minute? I have to leave for training today.”

“Of course, congratulations, I’m super happy for you, but I am sad to see you go. I know it will sound hollow after how much I’ve fucked up, but I’ll miss you, you are special to me, a great friend, which is shitty for an ex to say, but you could have made my life a living hell, and had every reason to do so, but instead you were cool and helped me through my own shit, which is selfish of me, god, I’m talking a lot.”

Karen walked over and hugged him, “despite what happened, I still have strong feelings for you, this move is good for me, I need to be away from you to get over you. I just think of what had happened if Pam hadn’t come that one night…”

Jim sighed, “you have no idea, I think about that a lot too. My life is so complicated Karen…well..shit, Pam is pregnant,” Karen looked beyond shocked, “from the one time, the one drunken time that she regrets and thinks I’m human shit because I cheated on you, which I don’t disagree with, but yeah, my life’s a mess, be glad to dodge the bullet that is Jim Halpert.”

Karen lightly massaged his shoulder, “Jim, I guess congratulations and I’m sorry she feels that way, I don’t feel that way about you, honestly. You have been pretty open about things, especially since she came back in your life, I would have let you string me along, I would have forgiven you and still dated you, I really wanted it, but now, I am glad you didn’t, because you obviously love her, but I get it.”

Jim stood up and hugged her, “Karen, I wish you the best, you deserve it after all of this. I wish things were different too, I wish I could move on, believe me, I think I need counseling.”

Karen pulled back and smiled at him, “yeah, and you and Dwight are living together now?”

Jim nodded, “I know, I know, that’s insane, year ago me would call you a liar and freak out about this if I was told this is how it would go down, but it’s good, he distracts me, I distract him, pathetic hearts club and all that.”

“Take care of yourself Halpert…” She looked at him as if she wanted to say something else.

“What is it Karen? You can say anything to me, I deserve it, I deserve so much crap from you.”

Karen exhaled, “Jim, if you love her, don’t give up, don’t accept this, let her know that what she thinks of you now isn’t you. You were drunk with the woman you’ve loved for years, I’m pretty sure she had a part in it as well, but you deserve to be happy. You act like now that this happened, and she left, you just deserve to pine for her and accept fate, but don’t, no one deserves that, well maybe Andy or Ryan, but no one else.”

By noon, Karen was gone, Jim felt an emptiness, he would miss her, but he didn’t get to feel sad about this, he had caused so much grief for her, he wished he could have loved her, they could have had a great life, but instead he was hopelessly fallen for his pregnant non-girlfriend and ex friend. Sitting in his office filling out reports did nothing for his mood, when five o clock hit he practically ran out of the office and drove home. 

Changing into shorts and a t shirt didn’t help, neither did a beer, when Dwight came in the door at six, Jim was pacing around the apartment.

“Halpert, what are you doing? Is this some new indoor walking craze? I despise new sports. Table tennis was the last acceptable new sport.”

Jim stopped and closed his eyes as he quietly laughed, “no, but that’s good to know, I’ll try not to bring up pickle ball. Karen said something today that freaked me out, but she’s right. I should not stop fighting for Pam, I get that, I don’t want to.” He sat down on the couch and rested his elbows on his knees, “I just can’t face things if she says no to being partners in raising this baby, I don’t want to be the weekend warrior dad, I don’t want to be on friendly terms with her eventual husband, I don’t want to have to do separate parties and holidays because she can’t stand me. I’m terrified, everything I’ve wanted, a future with Pam, seems so close, yet at the same time it also feels like with every day it becomes more and more unlikely.”

Dwight sat down in the recliner, “I have no advice. I obviously still love Angela, I don’t know where the line between hopeless romantic and hopeless stalker is, they say never stop fighting for love, but it isn’t love if it’s a one-way thing, then it’s just me bugging the shit out of my ex and facing a judge to get slapped with a restraining order.”

“See Dwight, you get me. Want a beer?”

Dwight moved his head side to side trying to decide, “no, I need to drive to Scranton right now and grab something I forgot, I’ll be back, then let’s go get Thai food. Connecticut Curry is open late and Karen said it’s the best Thai place in town.”

Jim nodded, “cool, I’ll be up, driving myself crazy.”

“Jim, go hoop it up as the kids would say, release some stress, tomorrow, shooting range, but one close to here.”

PAM

Her apartment seemed lonelier than ever, she needed to go grocery shopping, but she was trying to save money and buying cheap groceries was depressing when she was being cheap on everything. She contemplated which frozen dinner she had would be the least objectionable because she needed to eat soon, as it was already past eight, when there was a pounding on her door.

Pam moved to the door and tried to peek and see who was there, but she couldn’t see, they were just out of the way. She tentatively opened the door when she saw Dwight.

“Dwight, why are you here? Did your new best friend send you?”

Dwight took a deep breath, “no, and he’s also my roommate, I moved to Stamford, Angela dumped me, and I just needed a change, we actually distract each other from our pain.”

“So, you’re here to tell me I’m causing him pain?” She started walking back in her apartment, “don’t stand there, come in so I can yell at you while I eat.”

Dwight blinked several times then followed her inside. “I don’t think you’re causing Jim pain, well not really, I think you’re causing you both pain. Did Roy ever cheat on you?”

“Dwight, not answering that.”

“Please, just humor me.”

Pam glared at him, “fine, yes, he said he just made out with her, but I saw a text and found out otherwise.”

Dwight swallowed, “but you stayed with him?”

“Yep, he was familiar, he was all I knew and I was scared, but with Jim, it’s different, I thought I could trust him, and I know he didn’t cheat on me, but it’s still not how relationships start.”

“How are they supposed to start? He fell in love with you and told you, but you stayed with the cheating bastard. Angela cheated on me with a cat freak and sold the jewelry I gave her, I want to go back to her, but I know she doesn’t love me, like I suspect you realized Roy didn’t really love you, just having you. Is that honestly how you feel about Jim as well?”

Pam sat down and looked away, “no, of course not.”

“Do you think he honestly loves you? Be honest, because if you don’t, then I will leave right now because there is nothing to talk about, I get trust, I’ve had cheating girlfriends, it’s not easy, it makes you paranoid and unpleasant, I know how I come off to a lot of people. So, do you think he honestly loves you?”

Pam just looked away again, not wanting to answer, she stared around her apartment, here eyes finally focusing on his high school picture on her fridge. “Yes, always.”

Dwight’s head fell in frustration, “then why fight this, if you both love each other and are willing to make it work, what the hell is happening then? You know how I used to feel about Jim, but because of the merger, no Michael and weird cosmic forces neither of us understand, we, Jim and I, have become our own support system. He is an amazing boss, laid back yet gets things done, and he listens to me, I can honestly say that I, Dwight Schrute, have never had a friend who listened to me, I had friends who would make it about them, or tell me to man up, or tell me women sucked, but not listen. Jim trusts me and compliments me and promoted me at work with me not having to kiss ass or be terrible to others. Jim Halpert is my best friend, consider that Pam, because if that’s possible, then you can stop being stubborn and at least try to be happy.”

Pam had started crying as soon as he said I, Dwight Schrute, “how? It’s so complicated now?”

Dwight shook his head quickly, “no, it’s not. You love him, he loves you, he wants to help you raise this baby and he wants to be with you, that’s not complicated, that’s how it’s supposed to work out, the other stuff, there’s no rulebook for that. If Jim hadn’t told you he loved you while you were engaged, you would be Mrs. Roy Anderson, married to a man who cheated on you and abused you, so this relationship would never start normal, it’s like Battlestar Gallactica…”

“You’re losing me Dwight.”

“Augh, you people need to be more open to modern storytelling, my point is, there isn’t normal, there isn’t a real way that things should happen. Life happens and everything else is how we choose to deal with it.”

Pam was still crying, “how is this you? I think you’re a replicant.”

Dwight rolled his eyes, “please, Pam, you rejected my Battlestar metaphor already, it’s too late.”

JIM

The Knicks game was the only sports on tv, he hated the Knicks, but they were playing out west, the game was on late, and he didn’t have the will or energy to change the channel, so he watched. An annoying commercial for insurance was on, again, when Dwight popped in the door holding bags of food.

“Thai food as promised.”

Jim nodded and thanked him, they ate, watched some episodes of the old tv show Kung Fu that Dwight put on, then Jim tried to sleep. He tossed and turned for a long time before sleeping, but even in his dreams he was tortured by visions of Pam raising their son away from him with Ryan in one dream, with Andy in another, and in the most bizarre one with Philly Phanatic. He woke up to the sound of the doorbell, he got up and saw a note from Dwight that he would be back later, he had run some errands, he lumbered to the door and opened it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of something new...

PAM and JIM

“Pam? Are you okay?” She was crying and looked like she was hurting.

“Yes, sorry, hormones, tired, and I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I get that, do you want to come in, or is this to deliver a message…”

Pam cried harder, “god, Jim, I’m coming in.” She made it two steps and then turned around and hugged him. “I miss you.”

Jim relished the hug, not wanting to let go or mess it up by talking, even though he knew he had to say something, “I’ve missed you, seriously, more than anything or anyone in my entire life.”

“I want to raise our baby together, I really want that.”

“Good, I will do whatever you want, I can get you a place here, we still need someone good in reception, and we actually need Ryan in sales, that would help you, seriously, I just want to help and make up for my many screwups..”

“God, Jim, stop being so nice for a second, I know Dwight moved in, but what I meant was, you and I, this is all so backwards, I’m pregnant, but I need help Jim, I’m tired of being alone and if we’re in this, why not try it backwards like everything else that’s happened recently?”

Jim let go, his eyes were wide, his mouth open, a few tears beginning to form, “don’t mess with me Beesly, I can handle a lot of things, but I can’t handle it if this isn’t real, for real, I just can’t, I’ve felt so torn apart by everything I’ve done and that has happened, but I’m not strong enough if this isn’t one hundred percent real.”

“Jim, it’s for real, I just need to know a few things.”

Jim nodded, his mind still unwilling to accept that anything close to this could be happening, “of course, what?”

Pam backed up and sat down on the couch, “I need to know that it’s just me, I know you and I was a drunken thing, I wouldn’t call it a mistake, not now, but Roy did cheat on me, I pretended it didn’t happen, but I can’t do that now, so I need to know.”

Jim fell to his knees in front of Pam, “I swear to you, I will never, it’s only you, everything has been so backward and not how I wanted, but you have to know I would never, we have to have trust, so I get it, Pam, I swear to you, but if you can’t trust me, this can never work.”

Pam reached out and held his face in her hands, “I trust you, I do, I felt as responsible for what happened as you, I hated myself for it.”

Jim shook his head, his eyes again watery with tears, “Don’t, I was with Karen, I…”

“Jim, I know you, I do, I know you, I should have relied on that, but it’s all felt so wrong, but we have to move forward now, no blame, no regrets, just moving forward. The second thing I need to know is, you know I’m so not perfect, right? You won’t leave me when you see me without makeup a lot, or when I fart, or when I get sick?”

“No, of course not. I know you have flaws, but I like those too, I know you fart, you don’t remember the night you kissed me at Chili’s, for the Dundies, you were a gassy gal that night.”

“Oh god, I’m so glad I don’t remember most of what happened that night.” Pam took a deep breath, “the last thing I need to know, can we try this, living together, again, I know Dwight is here, but can we try us, together, like we probably should have been?”

Jim took a deep breath trying to control his emotions, but as he looked into Pam’s eyes, knowing that finally, finally she would take a chance with him, he lost it, he spit out a hoarse “yes, of course,” he then laid his head eyes down in Pam’s lap, she bent over and kissed the top of his head. Jim tried his best to regain his composure, but as his head lay in the lap of the woman he had loved for so long, every emotion he had felt during it all came to the front, every fear of failure, every time he had felt the door slam shut or that she had slipped away came through the tears that now fell on her lap. Pam lovingly caressed his head with her hands, her own tears flowing freely, Jim’s reaction opened her eyes further to his true feelings and nature, when she was with Roy he would cry if he thought she was leaving him, but when he got his way he was always back to old Roy, but now, here in front of her was a man overwhelmed with the fact that she loved him.

“Jim, I’m sorry.”

Jim lifted his head, “Beesly, you have nothing to be sorry for, this has just been…well, it’s been something.”

Pam smiled sadly, “how could I be so blind to how much you love me, I knew I loved you, but doubted so much.”

Jim knelt up and kissed her, “you were right, just move forward, thinking back is hard, we have so much to look forward to, I mean, holy crap, you’re pregnant with our baby, ours.”

“I know, it’s so crazy, but even when I was sure I would always be mad at you, I knew this baby would amazing, your sense of humor, your kindness.”

Jim leaned his head so his was pressing against hers, “funny, I was thinking the same thing, but yours.”

“I’m sorry this took so long, it seems silly now.”

“Pam, part of what has gotten me through all the waiting and the lows, is the fact that I have never doubted that you were the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, so the fact I am your choice for the same, that means everything. I would have waited longer, I just knew, I used to get pissed at myself that I couldn’t move on, but I just knew I met the person who makes me laugh, who I can talk to about anything, everything, and nothing. I sound cheesy and rambly, but it’s true.”

“I like it, don’t worry.”

He leaned in to kiss her again, his mind floating in happiness as he realized his freedom to kiss her, the object of his affection for so long. “Hey, Mr. Kissy, you should text or call Jan, it would be nice to make sure that I actually have the job before showing up.”

“Shit, that’s probably a good idea.” Jim reached in his pocket for his cell phone, after searching for a few seconds, he clicked on his phone, “Jan, this is Jim, Pam has decided to take the offer if it is still available…yeah, we are good, full disclosure, we are dating…no problem…this is in fullest confidence, if someone we hire is pregnant, they are covered by our insurance, right?...yes she is…yes, it’s mine…no, it took some time, thank you…sounds great…thanks Jan.”

Jim was smiling as he got off the phone, “well, that was easy, she is ecstatic, she wanted me to tell you congratulations, and she said of course insurance will cover you, it’s part of the agreement they have with them, and she said that with us both having the better corporate coverage, we shouldn’t have to pay anything, that’s huge.”

Pam started to cry again, she nodded before she could speak again, “holy shit it’s huge, I was so terrified, not to mention stupid, I was so against seeing you I would have suffered in poverty instead of working here, fuck, I was so stupid.”

Jim grabbed her hands and held them tightly, “Pam, I didn’t handle things great, at all, I get that. Like you said, things were backward, but now they’re good, you have coverage, you are taken care of, that’s the most important thing.”

Pam laughed, “really, me being taken care of, more important than us getting together?”

Jim hung his head and sighed, “yeah, of course. I know I sounded desperate for us, but I was mostly worried about you, trying to do this alone, with no help, no insurance, of course I have wanted us to be us, for so fucking long, but part of why I wanted you to forgive me and give me a chance is that I care about you, as a person, you Pam, not as my girlfriend, not just as the soon to be mother of Pam Jr., but as a person.”

Pam kissed him, her hands on his cheeks, her relief at the end of this difficult time second to the love she felt for Jim and the fact that he was who she thought he was. “Halpert, where’s Dwight? We’re a couple now, legitimate, we’re about to live together and raise a child, and we’ve only had sex once, that seems wrong.”

Jim looked at her with surprise all over his face, “really? You’re okay to do this?”

Pam rolled her eyes, “no Jim, the doctor said it would kill the baby and I want to anyways, of course it’s okay, and normal. People have sex Jim, it’s why we’re in this predicament, not that it’s bad, just a way to say don’t be ridiculous, so, how long is Dwight gone for?”

Jim laughed, a happier laugh then he had been capable of for some time, “sorry, just cautious, and of course, and don’t be ridiculous yourself, this condo is so modern it has bedrooms, with doors, that lock.”

Pam hit him, “okay, I can get away with it, you can’t, I’m pregnant and super emotional.”

“Sorry.” Jim then picked up a shrieking Pam, he moved slowly to be careful, but carried her up the stairs to his, soon to be their room. He tried to set her on the bed as gently as he could, she bounced once, her head hit the wall, not hard, but enough that Jim was apologizing profusely.

“Jim, I’m fine,” laughing as she said it. She rubbed her head lightly, still laughing, while taking in the Jim’s room again, the time she had been there before had been a drunken mess, sleeping after having guilty sex downstairs, she realized she didn’t remember the room at all. She was about to drag Jim to the bed next to her when she saw a frame, a medium sized wooden frame, there was no picture in it, instead it had a piece of paper with large writing, “our baby.” Pam closed her eyes for a second and thought again how foolish her past concerns were, and it was okay now because they were together, she then reached out and pulled him on top of her.

“Is this okay for the baby?”

Pam laughed loudly, “way to try and kill the mood Jim, I’m about as horny as I have ever been, don’t look so shocked, and it’s not because I’m pregnant or haven’t had sex, it’s because of you. For the first time I’m with someone who loves me, the things I do, the things that make up who I am, that frame,” her voice crackled with emotion, on the edge of tears again, “that frame already for our baby, without knowing that anyone but you would see it, that just pushes it into new levels. Her hands now lifted his shirt off in a quick smooth fashion, then returned to his pants, pulling them down and off.

Before Jim could help her, she quickly tossed her shirt off and undid her bra so quickly, Jim gasped in astonishment. “I’m normally not this quick, and normally much clumsier.” Her pants and underwear were soon off, Jim just looked at her with a look of desire in his eyes. “Halpert, stop it.”

“God Pam, you are so beautiful, I just have to take it in and remind myself this is actually happening.”

Pam had heard enough, she rolled Jim over, crouched over him and with one hand, stroked him and then took him in her mouth, which proceeded to move up and down his length with a speed and gentleness that both surprised him and turned him on to the point that he had to stop her. “Whoah, there, Beesly, I’d like to participate in this too.”

Pam laughed as she laid back and again pulled him to her, Jim positioned himself, his eyes never leaving hers, he took a little probing, but then entered her, Pam closed her eyes momentarily, then opened them with a smile. She started moving up on him, her hips thrusting into him, pushing herself up and down around his length, his eyes in a state of bewildered arousal, Pam couldn’t help herself when she saw how absolutely enamored he was, not just with the sex, but with everything about the morning, she started to tremble slightly, her hips bucking more as she moved, she couldn’t help the words leaving her mouth, “fuck, Halpert.”

Jim, who had been picturing angry Andy, the least sexy thing he could think of, upon hearing her swear in the midst of her movements, he was then pushed beyond his own control, his own hips moving up in uneven thrusts to meet hers. “Shit, shit, shit.”

Jim was careful not to put all his weight on her, instead, he shifted so he laid next to her, his lips finding her neck and laying gentle kisses as she closed her eyes, savoring the touch and the fact that he didn’t just stop abruptly after sex, with Roy, who she hated to think about, but he would stop, never worrying much about her.

Jim was expanding his kisses when they heard shouting, “Jim! Are you around?”

Jim smiled, “there’s our roommate.”

Both quickly dressed, neither caring that Dwight might put together what they had done, showing a true change in their relationship with him. They came down the stairs, hand in hand, Dwight turned around to see them, “Pam! You guys…yes!” He ran to them, first hugging Jim and then Pam, “please tell me the two of you have reconciled and are getting together.”

Jim smiled, “yes Dwight, we have indeed reconciled,” Dwight did several fist pumps, “you have a lot of energy today.”

“Please, I’m this way every day, but as your new best friend, it pleases me to see the two of you together, I’ve put a lot of time and effort into this.”

Pam laughed at Jim’s quizzical look, “oh yeah, a major part of why I’m here today was Dwight coming over last night and asking me some questions, very person ones, but making a lot of sense.”

Jim immediately hugged Dwight again, “Dwight Schrute, what can I say? You complete us.”

“I know, I know. So, Pam, are you going to move in, live in sin with Jim and make this like that bizarre nineteen-seventies sitcom with the three people in the apartment?”

Jim and Pam looked at each other in amazement, “Three’s Comapany Dwight, and wow, that’s invasive and assumptive, and yet right on the money, yes, I am moving in and will live in sin with Jim.”

“Nice, another roommate, though as an expectant mother, I won’t accept your money, Jim and I will split it, I insist.”

Pam felt her jaw literally dropping, “Dwight, what the hell has happened since you left Scranton?”

Dwight shrugged, “you know, I think it’s having a friend who is an actual friend, and someone who could have been an ass to me, who I’ve tried to screw over, and having a boss who knows what they’re doing and not turning the office into their own year-long therapy sessions.”

Pam nodded, “okay, that checks out, that makes sense, but still, you two being roommates, it’s comparable to Michael and Toby being roommates.”

Jim and Dwight both made faces, “I don’t know who I’d rather be in that scenario, the dumbass or the bland lifeless blob, both are bad.” Dwight shook his head, his face still showing how disgusted he felt by the analogy.

“I have to agree with Dwight, Osama Bin Laden and Bush would have been better, or anything else.”

Jim and Dwight took Monday off to help Pam pack and move, Pam and Jim were amazed at Dwight’s speed and efficiency, and at his stories of Schrute family emergency preparedness drills, as Jim heard more and more stories about Dwight’s family, the Dwight he had known and tormented made a lot more sense.

Pam’s apartment was soon emptied and loaded into a moving truck, she squinted her eyes as she the truck pulled out of her apartment complex, “That’s Roy’s brother’s truck, dumb bastard was spying on us. Stupid Kenny, he’s a big part of the reason Roy is the way he is.”

Dwight craned his neck to look out the window at him, “we could go disable his truck, I know how in two easy steps that make it nearly impossible to pinpoint.”

Pam shook her head, “no, Dwight, it’s okay, they’re not worth worrying about, plus, I’ve seen them beat the crap out of people.”

Jim just shook his head while Dwight vocalized what both of them were thinking, “I don’t know how you stayed with that idiot for so long.”

Pam closed her eyes, “yeah, I don’t either, I just didn’t want conflict, I didn’t say what I was feeling, it’s why I was so hard on Jim, I wanted to make sure I was heard, that my feelings were respected.”

Jim reached over, leaving one hand on the steering wheel, and held her hand, “I’m glad, I think had you rushed into this, more so,” he grinned, “you would have had doubts, I think we needed time, I know as much as it sucked, I did. I never thought about what it was like for you, I was so busy feeling devastated, I didn’t think about what you were facing, that’s changed, big time.”

Dwight sighed wistfully, “At least you guys worked it out, I have to realize Angela won’t be coming back.”

Jim and Pam glanced at each other, Pam reached up and patted his shoulder, “you’ll find someone Dwight, you’re a lot more accessible and kind, that means a lot to women, in fact, I could set you up, my friend Isabelle has three brothers, two are Marines and one is a cop, she’s tall for a girl, so quite different from Angela.”

Dwight nodded while pondering her offer, “that might be good, I have wanted tall children, Angela would not have produced offspring with any height, her dad is five foot six, but still terrifying.”

As the sun faded that evening, Pam was unpacking her last box that hadn’t been placed in storage, she and Jim had begun talking, away from Dwight, about finding a place for raising the baby, they didn’t want to hurt his feelings, but it wasn’t ideal raising a child in a two-bedroom condo with a roommate. Jim came back in the room with a cup of tea for her, without her having asked, she could only smile at that, not once had Roy had the presence of mind to do that for her.

“I can’t believe Pam Beesly and Dwight Schrute live with me, it’s like an acid trip, bizarre and based on deepest fears and desires,” Jim noticed Pam looking at him strangely, “sorry, I just read Ken Kesey’s book about the acid tests, it was a wild ride.”

“That was bizarre, but I get it, I told Isabelle what was happening, and she couldn’t believe it, she was freaking out. Penny loves you even though she hasn’t really met you, and so does my mom, who I still haven’t told, she and I my dad are having big issues.”

Jim went pale, “shit, I have to tell my mom, that will not be fun.”

“Does Larissa know?” They asked simultaneously, and then each burst into laughter.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Pam in a relationship.

Pam and Jim

It was a Thursday, boring was an understatement, corporate was moving to a new filing system and everyone but salesmen were entering data from the past four years, Jim was doing his best to keep everyone sane, giving away prizes at random times, he bought nice Bluetooth headphones for everyone involved, the salesmen minus Dwight didn’t like it, but Jim pointed out the other staff didn’t get sales incentive prizes nor sales related bonuses, so they were quiet after that.

Jim wrote what felt like his three hundredth email of the day answering questions that corporate had on the progress when Pam entered, “I’m back with the prizes for the rest of the week.”

Jim grinned, after being together for not quite two weeks, he was amazed that everyday she seemed to look prettier and prettier, which she argued against, as she felt flushed and tired from pregnancy. “Thank you, Pam, I appreciate that.”

Pam smiled back and turned around, knowing that Jim was watching her all the way back to her chair. They had agreed that at work they would not kiss or be obvious, they saved their sappy comments or not safe for work comments for their tablets, corporate passed them out as incentives, they could hook them up to their Bluetooth keyboards and not be observed by corporate.

Jim checked his as he saw Pam typing,

Pam: You looked like you were fighting off an erection, calm down Jim, we’re at work

Jim: Not my fault you look so good at work, that’s on you.

Pam: Yeah right, but on a serious note, I think we should tell our parents, next weekend, Saturday my folks, Sunday yours. 

Jim: Way to kill my erection

Pam: I’m serious, we need to, the longer we wait, the more upset they’ll be

Jim: Or the more serious they’ll think we are, I can’t see your dad loving a guy who wasn’t even dating his daughter getting her pregnant

Pam: He’ll be fine, I think

Jim: That’s making me feel very confident

Pam: Chicken

JIM

Jim had to put the tablet away when Dwight walked in his office, “Jim, it’s just me, no reason to hide your sexy talk communicator.”

“It’s just not that, well not only that, but it’s also a big brother situation.”

Dwight tapped his finger to his temple, “smart, don’t want them knowing all your business. It’s fun for a while, unless you date a frigid woman who makes you hide your relationship for over two years, that’s less fun.”

“That sucks man, what’s up?”

“Pam mentioned you were thinking about telling your parents of you upcoming child soon, so I have an idea.”

Jim put his hand in front of him and motioned no, “no skywriting, that’s not how they should find out.”

“No, I’ve reconsidered that, plus my skywriter’s in the hospital for a while, it’s a long story. No, we should have a barbecue, I can bring my smoker from Schrute farms over and my aunt offered half a cow, that’s a lot of meat, but a full stomach might be less inclined to violence over the impregnation of their daughter, that’s also why I’m suggesting beef instead of horse or goat.”

Jim rubbed his chin, “hmm, not the worst idea, do it all at once, tell them she’s pregnant and we’re living together. Also, I’ll never be convinced that horse meat is a viable substitute for cow.” Jim sighed as Dwight was about to retort, “I just wish we could wait a few more months, I’d propose.”

Dwight blinked several times, “really?”

“Yeah, I just know, I know she’s who I want to be with, no one else. I’ve known this. I just don’t want to move too fast for her, but who knows, it’s all been a weird combination of excruciatingly slow, and breakneck fast.”

“Hey, tomorrow, we have to go to Scranton for that meeting with Scranton University, we should go to Jewelry Direct Warehouse, it’s not an actual warehouse, but I used to by my fantasy knick-knacks there, they have a huge selection of engagement rings, and I have a coupon for diamond rings, you know, in case…”

Jim stood up, “Dwight, it sucks Angela broke up with you. Are you serious about using your coupon there, it’s not like stolen rings or sweat shop knock-offs?”

“Jim, please, I like discounts not infractions of the law. I was a volunteer sheriff’s deputy.”

Jim nodded, “yeah, until Michael screwed you over, again.”

“Yeah, why did I like him so much?”

“Good question, but despite the fact that I thought you coming here was to torture me, it’s been great, which is mind blowing.”

Dwight agreed, “but seriously, jeweler, tomorrow.”

Jim moved his head around pensively, “okay, why the hell not? I know I want to.”

As Jim watched the last employee besides himself, Pam and Dwight exit, he wondered what the rest of the staff thought of their bizarre little triangle. Everyone now knew Jim and Pam were together, no one out of the triangle knew Pam was pregnant, so the sight of the three of them leaving and coming in together everyday must have seemed odd or like they were planning everything together, but unlike Scranton, everyone was fine with it, no power play and no complaints to corporate. Ryan was just happy Jim and Dwight had helped him to get sales, Oscar was happy not to be judged for every action by Angela or having to work twice as hard fixing all of Kevin’s errors.

The walked out to the car, Jim opened the door for Pam, Dwight got in the back and put in his CD as it was his turn to choose the music. He reached over and soon the car was replete with the heavy metal sounds of some band neither Jim nor Pam had ever heard of. When they got to the condo, it was Jim’s turn for dinner, so he ordered Chinese food, he didn’t like cooking and didn’t mind buying dinner, he wasn’t spending his money on much else these days. After dinner they watched Battle Star Galactica, Pam and Jim both had to admit it was better than they thought it would be, Pam was especially into it.

Pam nudged Jim as an episode ended, he didn’t need any other signs, he stood up and helped up Pam, “alright Dwight, goodnight, don’t go too crazy.”

“Sadly, not a problem, goodnight you two, see you tomorrow, another day, another lonely night.”

Pam turned around, “Dwight, I forgot, I did talk to Isabelle, she said she’s busy tomorrow, but Saturday would work, how about we double on Saturday, so you can meet her, and we can talk you up and steer you away from mood killing topics.”

Dwight nodded, the hint of a grin forming on his face, “that sounds good, I do need to be less me sometimes. The last first date I had before Angela, I’m pretty sure I somehow got on the topic of goat meat and went through step by step of how to slaughter and skin a goat.”

Jim shook his head, “how does that happen?”

“I don’t know, I grew up on a farm, it’s what we talked about, and you’ve met Mose, it’s not like a lot of normal things were happening.”

“True.” Jim and Pam walked up the stairs hand in hand, Jim smiled as he looked over at Pam, his time with her was easily the happiest he had ever been or felt, they were so comfortable together and things just clicked, whether it was routines, the way they liked things, or sexually, it was all incredible.

“Jim, you’re smiling again, stop it, it’ll give me a complex and I’ll think I’m way better than I am.”

Jim opened their door, “I seriously doubt that, especially since I’ve known for a long time that you have no idea how great you actually are.”

Pam extended her toes up to and brought his head down a bit so she could kiss him, she thought that she could never tire of kissing him, the softness with which he kissed, the way he wasn’t aggressive yet it still felt passionate, and the way it just felt so natural, like they had been doing this their entire lives. After a minute of losing herself in the kiss, she pulled back, grinning, “so, progress report? How’re we doing, this us thing, us living together?”

Jim took a deep breath, “well…for me…I know you hate when I praise you, because you think I romanticize everything about you, but it’s been incredible, seriously, I’m so fucking happy, big time.”

Pam gently laughed, “I can’t get mad at you for that, I feel the same, and at the same time, I feel stupid for fighting it for so damn long.”

Jim lifted her up, she had been surprised at his strength and sex drive in their little time together, yet he was never demanding or pouty, just good at reading the signals and better at delivering during sex, his care for her evident in every facet of their now many times together sexually. Jim placed her on the bed carefully, removed his own shirt, then while engaged in another soft yet passionate kiss, lifted her shirt, exposing her bare breasts, his thumb stimulating her breasts. Pam moaned softly, Jim lifted himself slightly, his other hand reaching under him and finding her sex, his fingers gently eliciting another soft moan from her.

She was nearly to her breaking point when Jim entered her, as he did, he quickly replaced his hand at her center, continuing to bring her pleasure and her undoing. As Pam writhed slightly from pleasure, Jim pumped faster, Pam loved this about him, every time she reached her climax, it brought him to his, as if nothing were sexier than herself being turned on and enjoying it, something she had never come close to experiencing with Roy.

The next day at work, Jim messaged several thoughts about their sexual experience from the night before to Pam before he left for the meeting with Dwight. Pam felt herself go red and had to settle for a wave from him as he passed by on his way out the door.

The drive went quickly, Dwight playing Jim one of his favorite new metal bands, Jim had previously found Dwight’s music annoying, but as he saw the passion Dwight had for the music and listened Dwight told him about the bands and the music, it was much more palatable than before. The meeting was successful, the two of them using some of their old tactics for the sales meeting, they were both very excited as the sale was huge as the woman they met with also purchased paper for catalogs and testing materials for two others close by state smaller state universities. 

“Are you ready for the jeweler, I think you’ll be blown away by the prices, before the cat man got in the way of Angela and I, I was looking at rings here.”

“I’m ready, and cheer up Dwight, tomorrow you meet Pam’s friend, I’ve never met her, but I did hear Roy talk about her once, according to him she’s stacked and hot…what a douche.”

The jewelry warehouse was in a big two story brick building that took up half a block, walking in, their attention was on the huge amount of jewelry in front of them, until they heard a familiar voice speaking to a customer.

“Look, you won’t find a better deal anywhere in the northeast, believe me, I’ve tried, we are seriously the only jeweler in the country who cares that you get both quality and a good price, you think the big boys down the road at Jared or Kay care about that, no freaking way.”

Jim and Dwight froze, Jim turned first, standing behind a display was Michael, in a suit like always, getting agitated as the man didn’t buy despite his pitch. Dwight turned around slower, his eyes blinking several times as he confirmed it was him.

Jim and Dwight exchanged nervous glances, but before they could plan to escape or hide, “Jim and Dwight? Ha! Looking for jobs I bet, I knew you couldn’t handle being branch manager Jim.”

Jim sighed, ready to reply, but Dwight beat him to it, “wrong, like always Michael. Our branch is currently number one in the company, Jim’s awesome, and I’m his number two, an actual number two, with higher pay and responsibility, not the bullcrap you gave me. I don’t have to do his laundry or worry about his moods causing the entire branch to lose sales.”

Michael turned red, “listen, nobody cares, are you two buying an engagement ring for yourselves? Nice couple…” he started giggling in the insulting and childish way that only he could.

“Michael,” Jim was trying to restrain himself and not stoop to a Michael like level, “could you please be professional, I’m here to get a ring for…” he caught himself, “for my girlfriend in Stamford, things are moving nicely.”

Dwight nodded and closed his eyes to signal he approved and understood the reason for Jim’s lie. ‘Yeah, they’re great together. Show us some rings Scott, don’t make us complain to your boss.”

Michael looked around the room quickly and nervously, he had obviously already been complained about, a lot most likely. Michael shrugged, “fine, follow me, these are our high end rings, antiques and larger stones, they run from nine thousand to twenty thousand, even though the actual value would run from fifteen to forty thousand.”

Jim and Dwight grinned at Michael and his rote sale’s pitch, “okay, show me one the twenty thousand ones worth forty thousand.”

Michael muttered, “yeah, like you could afford it,” he grabbed a key from his keychain and opened the large display, pulling out a tray with exquisite rings, Jim’s eye immediately went to an antique looking ring, he knew from his sister’s previous obsession that it was white gold. 

Jim pointed to the ring that had instantly grabbed his eye, “can I look at that one, and what’s your price?”

Michael rolled his eyes, “yeah right, but okay, I’ll play along.” He carefully held up the ring, “this is a Henri Daussi eighteen karat while gold diamond engagement ring with a gorgeous two and one third carat diamond, the suggested retail price is thirty eight thousand, we offer it here for an even twenty thousand.”

Jim smiled, “I’ll go as high as eighteen thousand, cold cash, well, debit card anyway, no time wasted doing paperwork and credit line and all that jazz.”

“Are you fucking serious? How?”

Jim shook his head deciding to ignore how insulting his former boss still acted, “I make what Josh did, they don’t want me leaving like Josh tried to, and I don’t spend much.”

Michael grimaced, “I have to check with my manager, I’m not allowed to bicker prices…one minute.”

A younger woman accompanied Michael when he returned, “Hello, I’m Alicia, the assistant manager here. Michael told me you want this for eighteen thousand, did he mention its actual retail value?”

“Oh yeah, but I’m easy, debit card, right now, real easy, real fast, real money.”

Alicia considered him for a second, “Michael says he used to be your boss, is that for real?”

Jim and Dwight both laughed, “yes, it is, for five years, his,” he motioned to Dwight, “for nine years.”

“Okay, then it’s a deal, you’ve earned it. Michael, please ring them up, it’s a nice sale for you. Well done.” She winked at Jim and Dwight and left.

Michael rang them up, mumbling to himself the entire time, “well…have fun having a great life you two, I’m stuck here and at Men’s Warehouse.”

Jim and Dwight laughed at the current version of Michael for a while, Jim took out the ring and looked at it, “I hate to say it, but this ring is nice, and a good deal.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything and set Michael off, but that’ll convince her if you don’t.”

Jim started sweating, “man, I know you’re joking, but I’m nervous, I want her parents to be completely on board with us being together, raising a family, and all that, so I don’t know when I’m going to do this, I’m nervous about doing it soon and not doing it soon.”

Dwight pursed his lips, then he glanced at Jim, “don’t wait Jim, you guys are in love, and this is me saying it, I’m normally idiotic in these matters, but this, it’s obvious, like Ron and Hermione. I really hope she addresses it in the final book.”

Jim rolled his eyes, “thanks Dwight, but I get your meaning. Too bad we missed the chance to do it on Valentine’s day.”

“You dodged a bullet, that’s an overrated commercial nightmare, be glad it will happen on a day that’s yours and not Hallmark’s.”

PAM

The office was really quiet and boring without Jim or Dwight there, she laughed when she thought of how close she and Dwight had become so quickly and she laughed even more at the thought of Jim and Dwight as best friends. She finished her weekly reports and filed some things in Jim’s office for him, when she walked out, she saw Isabelle waiting at reception for her.

“Isabelle, what’s up?”

Isabelle sighed, “Dr. Lewis closed up early today, so we got paid but got to leave early.”

Pam smiled, “must be nice.”

Isabelle grinned, “so where’s this boyfriend of yours, the one with the large dick and of the great sex?”

Pam shushed her, “quiet, there’s coworkers here.”

“Sorry, just curious, Penny may have told me.”

Pam blushed and laughed, “not surprised. Jim’s out of the office, he had to do a sales call with Dwight, your date, in Scranton. Why are you in Samford?”

“My grandpa lives in the tiny town of Armonk, I know you’ve heard me talk about it, it’s his birthday, I’ll spend it with him, then go on my blind date, two hours away, tomorrow.”

“Thanks, I think you could hit it off with Dwight, he’s changed a lot and is fun to be with. Jim told me that Dwight saved him while he and I had our issues.”

Isabelle squinted, “I still don’t know why, I mean, I’m glad the” she looked around and then whispered, “S – E – X is good, but if he fucked up he fucked up.”

Pam sighed sadly, “a lot of it was because of Roy, I didn’t trust, but believe me, he loves me. A lot. I love him, I’m in, I don’t want anyone else.”

Isabelle made a face, “don’t tell me you’re going to be engaged again.”

Pam grinned, “if it was up to me, yes, but Jim’s a guy, so who knows, I mean, we do live together.”

“How is that, it was really fast.”

“It’s great, he’s thoughtful, we both like chilling and just hanging out, he doesn’t really do big guys night out like Roy did every weekend, it’s so different and more like me, it’s what I always wanted but was afraid didn’t exist.”

“Sorry, I’ll be good, I’m glad you guys got together.” Isabelle looked at Pam closely, “Pamalot, are you,” she scanned the room again, “with child?”

Pam blushed and scanned the room herself, “yes,” she whispered, “but you can’t tell anyone, only Penny, Jim, Dwight, myself, and one vice president in the company know.”

“Wow, I was going to ask if I could buy you a drink, but I guess that’s out.”

“There’s supposedly a good taco place nearby, how about there instead?”

“Can you leave?”

Pam smiled, “actually, yes, Jim told me I had his permission to leave early whenever I wanted, just to blame it on the pregnancy.”

Isabelle hung her head in mock disgust, “must be nice to be sleeping with the boss, huh?”

Pam smiled, “actually, it’s really nice, really really nice.”

As their tacos were served, Isabelle tried to peek at Pam’s tummy from across the table, “knock it off Izzy, you can’t really tell, other than my glowing skin and happiness.”

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant, with a guy’s baby you’ve barely dated, really didn’t date until after it happened.”

Pam exhaled through her nose sharply, “it’s so much more than that, we were great friends, great friends who fell in love and thought it might never happen. This is the happiest I’ve been Iz, way happier than I was in nine years with Roy, way happier.”

“Okay, okay, you’ve convinced me, Penny told me not to be a pessimist and kept telling me how happy you were. You do smile more than you ever did when talking about Roy. When are you telling your parents?”

Pam finished chewing a bite of taco, “Sunday, Dwight’s barbecuing, or rather slow cooking as he explained, a whole bunch of meat, and we’ll tell them then. I’m not too worried, Jim is, his mother can be interesting, but I already know she likes me and wanted Jim to find his way to me.” Her phone made a howling sound in her purse, she laughed as she fished it out, “that’s a text from Jim, I wanted a sound I could hear over other noises, “he’s home and waiting, says he has a surprise, I don’t care what it is as long as it ends up the way I want.”

“That’s both weird and sort of hot, I never heard you talk like that about Roy.”

“Yeah…Roy didn’t care about me, in sex, he cared about having it, but not making it good, Jim,” Pam stopped talking and just smiled.

“Okay, this is weird, who are you and where is Pam?”

Pam said goodbye to Isabelle and drove to their condo, she opened the door and saw flowers on the table and a few candles, the table also had a lace tablecloth she knew had to have been bought today, she craned back to the parking lot and saw that Dwight’s car was gone, “nicely played Halpert.”

She walked in and closed the door, down the stairs came Jim, in his suit still, he pressed a button on a small remote and as he placed the remote in his pocket, a slow song by one of his indie groups played, “beautiful,” by Mojave Three. Jim smiled as came down the final stairs, Pam approached him and kissed him, “is all this for little me?”

“Not even done yet.”

“Really?”

“Pam, I know it’s been, what? Thirteen days, but I’m so happy, the thing is, I knew that this, if it could ever have a chance, I knew it would be amazing, because I know you, I know how kind you are, how funny you are, how you had trouble speaking up about what you wanted because you thought you didn’t matter, and I just knew that if I ever got the chance to have this, a relationship with you, that it would be as amazing as it has been.”

Pam beamed, thinking this was just a romantic gesture, Jim then got on bended knee in front of her, “Jim, what’s happening?” Her eyes nearly came out of her head when she saw the ring, a big diamond in a gorgeous setting.

“Pam, you don’t have to say yes to now, or you can say no, I just know I love you and want to marry you, I hope it’s not too soon, but I also know this is what I want. I first thought it would be nice to make your parents know we are serious, but the more I thought of it, the more I realized that I just want it, that I want you, to be my wife, period. Will you marry me?”

Tears were of course coming down, her mind raced, she wanted this, but was is it too soon? She looked at Jim’s face, he wasn’t nervous or expectant, just happy, happy to be there, with her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “of course, yes, of course yes.”

Jim jumped up and held her tightly, then pulled back and put the ring over her finger, “why do things normal now, nothing has been so far, so let this be the same.”


End file.
